Whoa, so it was first reported that Sean Avery was taken to the hospital, suffering cardiac arrest.
Now, it is being reported it was really a lacerated spleen.
So, Hockey Jesus sprains his ankle and he whines and complains and has Malkin mop everything up for him. Avery played last night with an internal injury. Where is your god, now?
Reasonable Doubt over at MYFO is keeping better tabs on this than I am
WOOOOOO. Suck on that, Ams! You taste that? You like that, Tri? That is the taste of defeattttttt. Mmmmm, so delicious. Choke on it.
More concise post to follow when the WHL site isn’t down.
Also, my BOY. Dustin Tokarski is the muthafuckin’ MVP, yo!
A song for the occasion;
Download this: If I Can’t Be a Champion. Queen vs. 50 Cent
Judd Blackwater is a pimppppp.
Six degrees of separation and such;
Wyshynski, formerly of Deadspin wrote a bit about this madness
Alright, so let’s get down to it. It all could have been stitched up last night. Except it wasn’t. Another overtime loss.
Judd Blackwater scored a beauty in the first period assisted by Mitch Wahl and Jared Cowen. The second a goal from an Am. LAME. But there was plenty of chance and enough time for the Chiefs to score, but it just wasn’t happening.
Third period. More of the same fucking shit. Tied up and going into overtime. Then an Am, RED-dick to be precise, smacked in the game winner. And I about clawed the eyes out of the dick Ams fan in front of me. Sweetie, 1985 called, they want their frosted hair back.
I swear it was those motherfucking rally towels the arena handed out before the game (which were handy wiping cotton candy stickiness off). In theory, a rally towel was not needed because the series was at 3-2. But I am convinced those unholy scraps of terry sealed our fate to tie it all up.
So Chiefs, here is what I ask of you tonight. Bust your fucking balls, but do not get sloppy and take penalties. Cowen, you could stand to smarten up a tad. You were all over the place last night. Tokarski, stick just a bittttt closer to your pipes. And can we please check like we fucking mean it? I am sick of this love tap collision shit. Check a bitch! No really, I want to see that y’all mean business.
Can we please just win a fucking trophy? I will settle for the Western Conference. Because let’s face it, regardless who comes out of this is going to be slaughtered by Lethbridge. I’d love for my Chiefs to win it all, because it would coincide nicely with my birthday. But hey, I will take what I can get.
Also, David Rutherford, I know you have some agitator tendencies in you. Let’s crank your Sean Avery status to 11. That would be amazing. You don’t have to wave your hands in front of Pickard. But nudge nudge…
Ondrej Roman, just keep being you. You have been absolutely brilliant this series, I can’t hate. All I can say is, peeps Roman can’t do it alone.
I do not suggest slacking off in this game. Otherwise I will fucking cut you.
Now; a slew of songs for your taking.
Rush by Talib Kweli
Back Like That Remix by Ghostface featuring Mase and Kanye
9 Milli Bros. by Ghostface featuring Wu Tang Clan
Ghetto Superstar/Change Clothes. Jay Z vs. the Fugees
My 1st Song by Jay Z
So, I pretty much feel EXACTLY like this;
A slightly more composed follow up is on the way. It will be the most I have ever cursed in my entire life. Which is, quite a fuck ton.
Strip snagged from PENNY ARCADE.
I hope the Chiefs win tonight, so I can go light some cop cars on fire.
Apparently, as soon as I posted about last night, the Chiefs won. Which is pretty much amazing.
Most curious is perusing the box scores is the fact that the Ams were outshooting us like whoa. But in the first Judd Blackwater scored in the first from Chris Bruton and Ondrej Roman. Oh but then an Am scored. Ugh. Second period, oh look another Am scored. Ain’t nothing but a g thang since Drayson Bowman scored twice in the second (Bruton and Mitch Wahl; Stefan Ulmer and Trevor Glass). Oh then it all was tied up in the third. Time to hit overtime, again. Which had me hoping Dustin Tokarski wouldn’t swoop behind the pipes and basically give a goal to the Ams.
And he didn’t. The game winner came from the stick of Blackwater set up Roman and Justin Falk.
Download this: Mo Money Mo Problems by Puffy Daddy featuring Mase
I am getting ready to watch the Rangers/Pens game and apparently Sid the Kid decides when to allow the Pens fans to do a White Out. What in the fuck? This kid is the head cheerleader of the spirit squad? Does he tell the other cheerleaders when to decorate the football team’s lockers and who gets to ride in the stretch Hummer to prom? Also, this kid should never talk to the media, ever. People say David Beckham should be seen and not heard. I’d have to say the same about Sid. Except I do not find the Cros attractive at all.
Mr Avery, I hope you get up in Sid’s face/grill/kool aid, etc. Also, Avery if you could score a couple of goals, that would be great. I am in need of some points for my fantasy hockey team.
Regardless of team, can players please stop fucking blaming the game on the condition of the ice? It’s called being adaptable. Try it sometime.
So for the third time in the series the Chiefs are tied with the Ams in a second overtime. I hope this does not go into five overtime periods with the losing goalie stopping 98 shots.
There will be one of my jumbled rundowns of the game tomorrow. I will write it while watching the Rangers game in the morning.
Well it’s about time.
Finally the Chiefs organization has realized the power of red. They just sent out an email asking fans on Monday to wear red, to “Red Out” the arena.
I honestly can’t believe it took this long. Given how successful it is for the Calgary Flames;
They have a Red (fucking) Mile. I would know. I happen to be in contact with a huge Flame fan.
The Caps had their Rock the Red campaign.
For the love of god, wear red on Monday. Please? Go to like Target or Wal Mart. Buy a red shirt. That’s like four bucks. Then get a Sharpie. You probably already own like 56 of them. And write something on your shirt. What to write? How about…
Tokarski Saves.
You Got Falk’d Up.
I Heart Bowman.
Holy Roman Empire.
I Hate Colton Yellow Horn.
The possibilities are endless.
So the Lethbridge Hurricanes completely annihilated the the Calgary Hitmen. Which wasn’t all that surprising. I was hoping the Hitmen could pull it off. But, nay.
Which means, in the event we claw our way out of this round. The next round will be a bitch and a half. There will be blood, I am pretty sure.
Download This: 99 Problems by Jay Z.
I am working out what action will be going down here in the off season. Holler if you have any ideas. I think I might team up with Loser Domi for some posting. We have a few things we are kicking around.
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