Alright, so let’s get down to it. It all could have been stitched up last night. Except it wasn’t. Another overtime loss.
Judd Blackwater scored a beauty in the first period assisted by Mitch Wahl and Jared Cowen. The second a goal from an Am. LAME. But there was plenty of chance and enough time for the Chiefs to score, but it just wasn’t happening.
Third period. More of the same fucking shit. Tied up and going into overtime. Then an Am, RED-dick to be precise, smacked in the game winner. And I about clawed the eyes out of the dick Ams fan in front of me. Sweetie, 1985 called, they want their frosted hair back.
I swear it was those motherfucking rally towels the arena handed out before the game (which were handy wiping cotton candy stickiness off). In theory, a rally towel was not needed because the series was at 3-2. But I am convinced those unholy scraps of terry sealed our fate to tie it all up.
So Chiefs, here is what I ask of you tonight. Bust your fucking balls, but do not get sloppy and take penalties. Cowen, you could stand to smarten up a tad. You were all over the place last night. Tokarski, stick just a bittttt closer to your pipes. And can we please check like we fucking mean it? I am sick of this love tap collision shit. Check a bitch! No really, I want to see that y’all mean business.
Can we please just win a fucking trophy? I will settle for the Western Conference. Because let’s face it, regardless who comes out of this is going to be slaughtered by Lethbridge. I’d love for my Chiefs to win it all, because it would coincide nicely with my birthday. But hey, I will take what I can get.
Also, David Rutherford, I know you have some agitator tendencies in you. Let’s crank your Sean Avery status to 11. That would be amazing. You don’t have to wave your hands in front of Pickard. But nudge nudge…
Ondrej Roman, just keep being you. You have been absolutely brilliant this series, I can’t hate. All I can say is, peeps Roman can’t do it alone.
I do not suggest slacking off in this game. Otherwise I will fucking cut you.
Now; a slew of songs for your taking.
Rush by Talib Kweli
Back Like That Remix by Ghostface featuring Mase and Kanye
9 Milli Bros. by Ghostface featuring Wu Tang Clan
Ghetto Superstar/Change Clothes. Jay Z vs. the Fugees
My 1st Song by Jay Z