schennanigans.

NP You were drafted fifth overall. It was a huge deal. Did you buy anything to celebrate?

LS No. My present was just getting that Leafs jersey. That was the best thing, and afterwards, I went back to my hotel with friends and family and that was another present, having them there to share the moment with.

-Luke Schenn interview, 2008.

The other day was the NHL draft lottery which was probably the most boring non-event on television aside from when QVC is selling Lock n Lock storage containers and people call in to tell the host how many sets they have purchased for which family members. Yes, I take my watching television very, very seriously. Anyways, big shocker the New York Islanders are picking first. Then the ideas started being floated of just what will the Maple Leafs do to get that number one and potentially snatch John Tavares from the Islanders. Apparently the logical conclusion is to offer Toronto to offer up Our Luke and Savior, Schenn.

For the fuck of shit, why would you do that? And from here on out, when I say “you” I mean, “you” as the hypothetical general manager. Did you read that quote? How could you then just say, “ehhh whatevs, Schenn I hope you like Long Island and the Gotti Boys.” Clearly he sees honor in wearing the blue and white while others mock. I know Tavares has said he wants to be a Leaf too, which is really wonderful. But let the Islanders have him. They need to get back on track, they have to dig out of a hole. Sure Tavares can score but Toronto needs to fix the goalie situation at the moment and hang onto some defense.

The Leafs can move forward and build around Schenn. He is still a growing puppy who had a solid rookie season. He will be quite the beast when he fills out and then realizes his own strength. My thing is, why gamble? Sure Tavares maybe lovely and wonderful and had tons of column inches. But I tend to doubt all media hype and products. If you’re ever bored, ask me how I feel about Jessica Alba. Why trade away a shining hope to the fans? Schenners means something, his presence means that the team can turn around and tell the haters, “keep it cute or put it on mute.” With a sassy head snap too.

The Leafs are in position to draft seventh which I am kosher with. My warm, fuzzy feelings for Schenn and his panty melting tendencies aside, I have been screaming and rambling about a Jared Cowen and Schenn defensive pairing for months. And if I end up being right, I am going to do the most amazing routine for the “I told you so” dance. It will be more glitzy and dazzling than Chicago. More glitter and pizzazz than Xanadu. But with a bit of Kelly Kapoor;

presents. presents. presents.

I don’t have it in me to take down the playoff tracker sidebar at the moment…