Because I like to inflict pain upon myself; I looked up the top selling items on Shop.NHL.com. Then I saw this.
I have no words. It’s super creepy. And $25. I’m too scared to see what other players have plushies in the shop. So did Patrick sign off on this?
I lied. Curiosity got the best of me. I had to see the rest.
But the Malkin one is kinda adorably accurate!
Poor Steven Stamkos. He looks like a blondie, slightly more pleasant Dion Phaneuf.
Alex Ovechkin is just missing a candy necklace, yellow lens sunglasses and a backpack. He looks like an ecstasy dealer circa 1997.
This isn’t right. Jonathan Toews doesn’t smile.