hey, it’s me calling

Hey uhm, Portland? Sorry if that was kinda awkward. Listen, I think we should try and be friends? This whole fooling around thing and being fuck buddies was kinda awesome. We need some time apart. We had a good time tonight, right? I mean I scored on you with Bowman from Bruton and Roman. Then Koper from Johnson and Falk. And it was awesome. And then in the second, Rutherford, Bowman and McCrae all got between your pipes. Roman snuck in the third. Portland, it was a lot of fun. You’re a great chick. But I just need some me time now. Thanks for being so understanding. And doing my chemistry lab. Talk to you soon!

-Chiefs

Download this: Where Are My Panties by Andre 3000

Yesterday happened to be Drayson Bowman’s birthday which turned out nice for him scoring two goals in the first. I was hoping for a Bowman birthday hattie, no dice. Scoring also in the first was Jared Spurgeon. Judd Blackwater scored in the second. Mike Reddington scored in the third. Curtis Kelner and Ryan Letts got into a few fights.

Ryan Letts smashed a Bruins face in the third. Letts may just be the new Miles Stoesz. I wish I snapped a picture of the kid, he lost a tooth and left a bloody mess. Letts was unscathed.

Bruins has one goal and Army had an easy night in the pipes.

At the moment a game is in progress with Seattle. Spokane up 2-0 at the top of the third with  Tokarski goaltending.

2-1, Spokane

Tyler Johnson ended up being the magnet. The game wasn’t too very eventful. Actually, scratch that. Drayson Bowman fought his younger brother 10 seconds into the third period. Most excellent. Army was in the pipes and held of Kelowna with just one slipping by. David Rutherford had a gorgeous goal in the third. I am pretty sure when he popped it in he said “I am a mothafuckin p-i-m-p.” Drayson Bowman had a goal as well. We shut down Kelowna which was needed. Oh some visual aides lacking lol treatment.

I might caption these. A brief overview, I am made the freaking post was in the way of the Rutherford shot. The Donaghy one is a fight being broken up. And I seem to have caught him in a tender moment. Then Bowman is chilling in the box, probably talking smack to his lil’ bro across the way. And I know is Cow-when. But I like to say Cohen, like The OC. Wow I am dating myself here.

Head Shaker.

Whoa. That just happened. I figured Army would be in the posts. Then it was messy. It was looking worse than the Saturday fiasco. People were nearly crying in the first period. Five goals went by. Or was it six? There was kicking of seats and screaming at Peters. The second period saw Tokarski in the pipes trying to put a clamp down on Seattle. This is friggen Seattle, try harder. I think the boys are tired or something. They should pull a Lohan and call in exhausted. The game honestly defied all hockey logic. We should have been toast, but managed to battle back some. It was agonizing, but the final damage was 9-7 Seattle.

I need to look at stats because I am not entirely sure where the 7 goals came from. Off the top of my head 2 were from Drayson Bowman.

If I Can’t Be a Champion. Queen vs. 50 Cent [snag it]

Let it Bleed.

Oh the Buck Night Curse. I never thought I would see Tokarski being yanked after 3 goals slid by. I really thought it would never come to that. Something was just amiss with Tokarski. You could see he was mad at himself and was disappointed at the short handers. So Army shows up. He stops some pucks. I was relieved. Tyler Johnson had a goal as did Judd Blackwater. Bouncing back seemed possible.

Then, it all went sour. It was a round of terrible calls, mostly in favor of the Ams. The Chiefs were bleeding out and no band aid was going to fix this mess. Colton Yellow Horn had two goals. Of all the Tri City players to get two goals, it had to be the one with the biggest attitude problem. Yellow Horn, show some spine. You consistently act impolite and fans call you out. You should not yell back at fans and pop your jersey at us. Is the A on your jersey mean Asshole? Some fans were booted without warning for heckling Yellow Horn which is unfortunate and disappointing. Yellow Horn didn’t play the last four minutes because he probably would have been beaten to exta pulpy orange juice.

Levko Koper had a fight. As did Judd Blackwater. I think I am missing another.

From the bench, Tokarski was yelling at Ams goalie Pichard. I was expecting gloves to drop. Army was also exchanging words across the ice for Pichard. It seemed like a 2 vs. 1 goalie fight could go down, but never materialized.

The final damage was 7-2 Ams.

Next game is Monday, the rescheduled game from Friday against Seattle.

Maybe Monday there will be more of an effort and no phoning it in.

You are killin’ me, Smalls.

The Chiefs lost last night, 1-0. Which are always unexciting games. I don’t have much to say about the game. Army was in the pipes and mostly held it down. I don’t think I paid much attention to the game. I did have the pleasure of sitting with the Ice fans. And I am not saying pleasure sarcastically either. They were a solid group of fans who we said we would sit with when they return in February.

Hey Chiefs, try harder next time? Ok?