“hello, you’ve reached the winter of our discontent.”

“I’m bursting with fruit flavor.”

Ugh. More emos. I had intentions of getting up early this morning to keep an eye on the trade wires for Pension Plan Puppets. But my instructions from the overlords were more or less to just look fabulous. Which in essence, means nothing? So instead I stayed up until 2 am eating buffalo ranch Doritos and watching epis of 30 Rock. I rolled out of bed when most of the trade shenanigans were just getting started. Dominic Moore and Nik Antropov gone from my Maple Leafs. Sad panda. The Vesa needs surgery because he is in bad shape. SADDDDD PANDAAAAAA. The trades finally cooled. Brian Burke was a straight up G in his pressers. “Brian can I ask you about….?” “NO.” Love it. Perhaps there should have been more shake ups. But at the end of the day, it comes down to money. And in this economy, well you do what you can…

“Evian is naive spelled backward.”

I win at life and forgot to flip my calendar and thought there was a Chiefs game tonight at the arena however M was kinda enough to tell me “no sweetie, Chiefs are on the road tonight.” Oh…ok then. Well awesomesauce. I can watch the pirate feed in my sweats. Watching the game in its warm bluriness I could only hear Jeremy Clarkson in my head: THIS HAS NOT GONE WELL. Clearly the lineup is hurting. But it was hurting prior to The Fallout. The team feels like its been on the slide since the injury of Jared Cowen. His absence has amplified just what he means to the team. His leadership is missed. Pull it together boys. Play like you, I dunno, like each other and want to put effort in? Hey I know the dudes missing sucks. It sucks for the fans too. But you have to adapt, pause for a sec, think about the game and go play your face off and show why y’all deserve to go to the playoffs. The Chiefs fall to to Kelowna and I think Tokarski needs a breather. Fuh realzie.

I’d hate to end this all on a downer.

Reality Bites is one of my all time favorite movies. Netflix it, yo.

[[edit]] Join me tomorrow while I am Princess Game Thread over on PPP for the Leafs/Caps game. Meet some of the classiest and wittiest commenters on the internetz and joke away the sucking of Tronna. Ily, Schenners. Bring the funny, they don’t bite.

Also, Drayson Bowman, WTF were you thinking fighting? UGHHHH. Dumbest idea of the year. [[/edit]]

THIS HAS NOT GONE WELL.

Ok so the title may be a bit of an understatment. The game was shit. The boys were tired. Three games back to back and I’d be a bit lazy. But that doesn’t change the fact the Chiefs kindaaaaa phoned it in with the Giants and got stomped on. Last night they emerged victorious in a shootout against…some team? And then they were back home tonight to play the Kelowna Rockets. Who have some sort of sea monster on their jersey. The Panel cornered a healthy scratch Rocket and asked about their jerseys. To be quite honest we didn’t hear a lot of what he said. He is dreammmmmy. He did inform us they have a raccoon for a mascot. WTF? Oh wait…game. Yes. That. Uhhhhh….welllll….Here is a super blurry pic of Jared Cowen in the press box to give you an idea;

oh god it burnssssss

Wait, that doesn’t give a good enough idea? Ok how about this one…

seriously. I can't believe this is happening...

In the third period Ondrej Roman was straight up robbed of a goal for no effing reason.  On his birthday. I thought a riot was going to break out. Actually I was hoping one would DAMN THE MAN! SAVE THE EMPIRE. That goal would have tied it all up. But nooooooooo. Get a war room WHL. Kthxbai. I am not messing around when it comes to junior. Uhm, Chiefs lose 2-1. Jared Cowen get cupcakes one because he is all hurty. And two he was clearly distraught in the press box. Ondrej Roman get cupcakes for his birthday. And for being robbed of a goal.

Come on boys, hold it together.

I found Sean Avery.

Oh was there a hockey game? I am sorry, as I was so bored. The Chiefs uhm, skated and did things with sticks. And I talked about the random spelling corrections of FireFox to my seatmate. It was that thrilling. Who gets cupcakes? No one. Well Drayson Bowman MAYBE for being named CHL Player of the Week. But that was already covered. So I am giving the cupcakes to The Panel. We earned for sitting through a terrible game. I wasn’t quite shrieking “oh god the blood.” But I considered it, 4-0 Giants. Thanks for not coming out Chiefs.

I think the most important part of the evening when The Panel plus one went to the Onion for post game munchies. And I said about halfway through the meal; “Am I projecting or does our server look like Sean Avery?” “NO! He totally does.” He was a charming cat. No mentions of sloppy seconds and the Shirley Temples were superior in quality. I tipped him alright. So for those wondering where Avery is or what he is doing; waiting tables at the downtown Onion. Try the mozzarella sticks. Also, he was such a kitten and gave his Top Five Females when I asked him. I am wildly inappropriate at times.

Game on Sunday. That is just awkward. Drayson’s bro is coming to town. Woot.

kisses and baked goods are in order

Ondrej takes a faceoff. Rawr.

Alright I am long overdue and I totally owe Chemmy, one half of Triple P. Chemmy, thank you darling for making Ondrej Roman return to the Chiefs. You told me you were going to see him play at the World Juniors. And I asked for you to kidnap him and bring him back to the Chiefs because we were totally missing him. You saw him play, he for sure does not suck. Chemmy took that picture of Ondrej and sent it to me from the game with the ever so simple caption, “I found Ondrej.” Somehow you worked your voodoo and we have our Ondrej back. And I thank you Chemmy, and so do the other ladies around here. Maybe if you are nice we will bake you some cuppy cakes.

i sometimes wish i could hate you to death.

The game was actually all sorts of awesome. I went in with my usual expecting the worst but ended up pleasantly surprised. Which is something I can say about a lot of movies. Except Jumper. Because that movie was goddamn terrible. Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christiansen; learn 2 act kthxbai.

Oh yeah, back to my usual haterade. FUCK YOU ALL. Not you my darling readers and commenters. But whoever though it would be useful to trade Seth Compton. I get this is how junior hockey works. But I fucking hate it. I would complain less if at the game they would have been like “And Seth Compton will be moving on to the Kamloops Blazers. We wish him nothing but the best and we enjoyed his time as a Chief….” Let the kids go out with some class and dignity but don’t just ship them off like some shit you sell on eBay. GAHHHHHHH. Amazing game aside, Justin McCrae magnet and beating the Chilliwack Bruins 4-1 I SAW ONDREJ. He exists. I squealed when I saw him walking around in a suit and talking to someone in that charming Czech accent of his. My bestie even noticed me checking him out. “Dude, I am pretty sure he knows you are staring at him,” is what he told me. “Oh, but that is ONDREJ!” Clearly, he doesn’t not entirely have the same enthusiasm that I do.

Chemmy I still owe you a post. Tomorrow perhaps.

Compton, you are a gentleman and a scholar. Give em hell, kid.

where’s ondrej? part 2

Wow, so the Chiefs site can’t even be updated in a timely manner but every other news outlet in town is reporting that ONDREJ ROMAN IS COMING BACK TO THE CHIEFS. I CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT AND NEED TO USE CAPSLOCK TO EXPRESS MYSELF.

Newslink here and some video here

Let’s make signs, kids.

how thrilling.

Oh there was a game last night? It wasn’t very exciting. Despite the fact the Chiefs were all “MAKE IT RAIN, BISH!” with the SOGs, and still lost. Oh the player magnet was Jared Spurgeon. I think the most exciting thing was the fact Chris Bruton was at the game. Our darling captain from last season.

Here is proof;

Ok so it’s blurry. But the dude in the blue polo is Brutzy and he is signing things for the kiddos.

Next game is the 27th. A good chunk of the lineup missing. Reid will get a cupcake for every puck he stops. Apparently, he needs to be bribed. Also, he needs to work on COVERING THE PUCK. Those bounces were so not cute.

nerds sometimes love hockey.

One of my darlings sent me a clip of one of my crushes at a Kings game.

“…I am a Gretzky fan. But you know hockey isn’t a Southern California sport…you don’t have ice! We have surf…”

Ahhhhh Zach Levi. A man after my heart. Well, he did admit he wasn’t entirely a hockey fan. But would consider becoming one if he got the awesome seats he was in for every game. It’s all good, Zach. I will show you the ways. Pretty soon you will be in team colors and TiVo’ing many a game. There would be snuggling and popcorn. You’d furiously shout when whatever team lost. And you’d like kinda hot because you were mad. Then I would be like, “it’s ok Zach…” and then? Well then we’d go to town….playing Scrabble. Furiously Scabbling on one of those collector’s edition boards with nifty swiveling capability. Ohhh yeah. I am a dork for words.

Chuck Bartkowski, call me?

oh hey my babies…

You ready for potential content? According to today’s newspaper Curtis Kelner is going to get schooled. Kelner would have been potentially been on the chopping block as one of the overagers who needed to go. Instead he will be attending college, school name not disclosed. Kelner was a great addition last season. I loved his left winger style, he is effective and skates gorgeously. Plus he was lovely on my eyes. He always knew when it was appropriate to drop gloves. Kels, it was nice knowing you.

Where does this leave us? The Chiefs will have 18 of 24 players returning. I think I covered our dearly departed, but allow me to name them again in case your forgot; Chris Bruton, David Rutherford and Judd Blackwater. Our wildcards are Justin Falk and Justin McCrae. Falk potentially going by way of the Wild and possibly McCrae joining the Hurricanes. There is a chance for Drayson Bowman to depart as well, but I really think he wants more season to just slaughter in the W before playing with the big Hurricane boys. Kevin Armstrong was traded to the Prince George Cougars and Jace Coyle went to the Medicine Hat Tigers.

Tomorrow the Chiefs will be practicing which I will probably be dropping in on. I will be taking notes. Eying the fellas. It’s what I do. Also, the Red and White scrimmage will take place Sunday at one pm at the Arena. It is free, it is hockey. Sign. Me. Up.

Let’s do a Get In the Box link roundup;

[] In no fucking shit news; hockey players are aggressive. Link via Jez.
[] And if you haven’t gotten friendly with my boys over at He Score He Shoot do ittttt. They put on a classy podcast. That is all kinds of amazing, it has production values. Plus I got Moose to sing Morris Day and the Time.
[] Jared of London has a plan. An epic plan. He wants to get the band together, as it were.
[] Q-girl gives a rundown on the terrifying boys of the Q.
[] Lori over at My Three Favorite things critiques the Alyssa Milano NHL Merch. It’s dead on and hysterical. Tim Gunn would approve. Who wants a 60 dollar maternity looking NHL tank top? Not this buttercup.