Ahhhhh, Chiefs. How I adore you. I really really do. I mean, I would let you take me out behind the middle school and get me pregnant. And if that isn’t love, then I have no idea what is.
The Chiefs were dazzling tonight. It was the return of Drayson Bowman. Ah how I missed you. You just getting better at hockey and better looking every year. I almost can’t handle it. I mean, RAWR the beast you will be when you are 25. All the ladies will be like “oh wassup Bows?” Ohmigahhhhh, I wish I could marry that goal you scored in the second. It was a ridiculously amazing backhander top shelf flick in. Everyone was going on about Carey Price’s save this week. Fuck that noise. I would have liked to see Carey try and stop that Bowman goal.
Ahw, the mini Jim Halpert, Tyler Johnson, scored in the first. I nearly missed it as some effing broads were late to the game and their fluffy, nasty hair extensions blocked my view. Tsk tsk, no finding seats while the puck is in play. Also, it’s not hard to find your seat. Numbered row, then letter. Why is it so goddamned difficult? Mitch Wahl did a schnazzy, tear out of the penalty box “fuck you refs for putting me there” goal. For seriously, I love it. BTW, Everett? Stop playing like assholes. I mean, it was really Kyle Beachian of you. Look where it got you? Racking up penalties and you couldn’t even get through the Chiefs defense.
Jared Cowen, who I am betting will go high come the draft, had a goal in the third assisted by Levkoooo Koperrrrr and Jar Jar Spurgeon. Homeboy has gotten even bigger this season. If that was possible. What does one feed Cowen? Sides of oxen? Can that be ordered from Costco? Does Costco deliver? I have so many burning questions for the billets who pen up Cow Cow.
Oh and my new Chief crush object Blake Gal had the fifth goal of the evening, the Chalupa Goal. Though I just realized now that leaving the arena I never got my coupon for my free chalupa. Whatevs. Taco Time over Taco Bell, every time. I hear in Canada, Taco Bells don’t have fiesta potatoes. Just regular fries. That boggled my mind…
Dustin Tokarski was reliable as always in the pipes and stopping 30 shots on goal. Tonight was his 11th career shut out. I expect at least four more shut outs from him this season. Yeah, I have high standards. But, the suave motherfucker that Dustin is, he will get it done. Though my favorite part of the evening was when Toka skated to the blue line to talk smack on Everett. The way Zack Dailey was trying to start shit with Jared Spurgeon and being an all around dick, I probably would have shot my mouth off as well. Near the end of the 3rd Toka got hit with a 2 minute unsportsmanlike conduct. I just love it when he talks dirty. Me OW.
Chiefs 5. Silvertips 0.
Chiefs SOG 50. Silvertips 30.