Spokane Chiefs Finally Join 2009; ORLY?

So the Spokane Chiefs have decided maybe perhaps it is time to I dunno, run like an almost real hockey organization and utilize social media. It’s a shame they didn’t start back in oh, 2007 when I wrote them a letter and told them to get with it. This is the year they finally do it.

An Open Letter From WAC.

Dear NHL,

I swear to god if you try to pull these shenanigans, I will burn the building down. And then some.  You and I have the long and sordid relationship. With my constant protests against pink jerseys, things with sparkle and all around fail wrapped in awfulness. The vintage/throwback merch is overpriced, but I suppose the thought is there. The Alyssa Milano products make me seethe and rage with their glitter and ridiculousness. The MLB made the exceptionally terrible decision that in order to reach more female fans, partnering with Victoria’s Secret was a good idea. No, I am not joking. The photo tour;

This shirt is $32.50. It has hearts, a puppy, says PINK and possesses reflective properties. It has things that seven year old girls love. If only they could have gotten Lisa Frank to design this stuff.

This distressed ringer is $32.50. Now, granted I have just been getting back into baseball. The return of Ken Griffey Jr to Seattle did that to me. But I am pretty effing certain there is no player with the last name PINK on the Mets line up. Unless this is like a Reservoir Dogs sorta thing. And I am pretty effing certain there is no number 86. I think the intended style is to look like a ringer shirt you stole from your boyfriend. Last I checked dudes haven’t owned ringer shirts since like, 1997. Let alone 3/4 sleeved ones with hearts.

This hoodie is $54.50. Once again PRETTY EFFING CERTAIN there is no player named Pink wearing number 86 that plays for the Phillies. Also, this hoodie will look fantastic with chemical nacho cheese spilled on it. I just know it will complete the ensemble.

This is $44.50. I get the idea of being comfortable at a baseball game. But honey! Sweatpants? Have some class. It is unknown whether or not the pants say PINK across the ass as some of the Victoria’s Secret items do, but I’d say never rule it out.  And apparently Pink Hearts Red Sox. I’d like to talk to Pink the popstar and confirm this whether this is a true statement. Not pictured is the Yankees and White Sox merch. But you can see the horror yourself here.

NHL, the problem with this merchandise is that its insulting. Do we want some girly stuff? Yeah. But for the most part it’s the same shirt that the dudes can buy. We just want it in a better to accomodate our shape. But hearts and puppies are not what we want. And why is a full sweatsuit required for a baseball game? For the most part you sit there, slowly roasting in the sun while eating a melted snow cone. NHL, provided you do not enter a similar partnetship or attempt to duplicate this hot mess of fashion; you and I are totally kosher.

Love and kisses,

WAC

off season insanity.

This lack of hockey is killing me. Well I know there are the playoffs(!!!!1) for Lord Stanley to be had. The Memorial Cup was awarded sans any breakage. The Calder Cup is still to be settled. But it has dawned on me just how much my socialization involves hockey. Meeting up with the Panel we pined for our Chiefs. We wondered if Drayson Bowman’s duties as a Black Ace with the Carolina Hurricanes was being EStaal’s bagboy. Or so we hoped. We tried to figure out what the Chiefs will do about the overager situation and took time to make fun of Kyle Beach.

What have I done without hockey to attend and suck up all my time? I am fairly certain I might have developed an addiction to eBay. My recent purchases were some hugeeee gold bamboo earrings. I have a really rad vintage Wendel Clark shirt on the way. I am bound and determined to win a B Makowski bag, specifically the white Prague Messenger bag for a steal. For the life of me I can’t win a My Little Pony for a decent price. It’s for a project. Don’t ask.  Oh and I have spent a lot of time playing Farm Town on facebook which I think is like being addicted to Oregon Trail or something.

I have taken to wearing all my hockey shirts. Which is enough for about two and a half weeks worth of attire. I discovered the most comfortable wardrobe combo ever is leggings and a hockey jersey. Even in the summer, I approve. I even wore my Tokarski Tampa jersey and started crunching numbers in my head for going to Vancouver when the Lightning do their summer practice there. I miss my boo. That and I totally miss being in a rink, hearing skates on ice and the comforting hum of a Zamboni. Wait, the Chiefs don’t even have a real fucking Zamboni. It’s an Olympia Ice machine. PSHAW.

In theory there is hockey on Versus to watch. But I had to turn the sound off for my own health and safety. Though part of me wishes all along I was liveblogging the shit the announcers have said. Because it is that unreal. Instead I turn the sound off, listen to Girls Aloud and just guess what happened. So far I have stopped my ears from bleeding by 100 percent.

In addition to watching the games I have taken to consuming Hint of Lime Tostitos. FACT: one serving size of HoL Tostitos is six chips. That’s the mst hilarious jooke of my life. I think an adequate and real serving size of them is roughly 30-50 percent of the bag. Also, why is it at the grocery store, the salsa they put by the chips the most expensive salsa of my entire life. Like, 5.50 for a jar of salsa? Is this real life? I can buy a gallon bucket of DELICIOUS and AMAZING mango salsa at Costco for about 3.75. Roughly. I don’t know. I am not a Costco member. But I do know their churros are like the best around. And off the top of my head, Costco is the only place where I can buy churros.

I spent one day watching all of season one of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I hoped I have some greater thing to say about it. But all I have for the moment is, “I need the rest of the series on DVD.” and “Did we really dress like that in the 90s? Hilarious.” I watched probably every teen movie I own. Specifically Can’t Hardly Wait. I maintain it is the most important film in the last 15 years because EVERYONE EVER was in it, or at least people I like and care about. And if not, you can go Kevin Bacon style and connect anyone to it. No really, I am going to draw a map. Did you know like half of the Six Feet Under cast was in Can’t Hardly Wait? Isn’t that a bit insane? Jason Segel was in it too and he was also amazing in I Love You, Man. Btw, I am not even joking about drawing that map.

I loaded up my Netflix Instant Watch queue with a bunch of rad indie films and some documentaries. And because I am a huge dork I am going through my DVR and watching every epi of season two of Chuck and making a list of all the pop culture references to see how it parallels with The OC since Josh Schwartz is responsible for both of the shows. Also, The OC (which has a two hour block every day on SoapNet!) really did get better, sorta, after Marissa was killed off. And my BFF made the point that really Seth Cohen is Ryan Atwood’s hetero life partner. I’d have to agree. Except we both disagree on Taylor Townsend. She is just too insane to even be cute. And he finds her charming. Probably because the actress posed in Maxim.

But I still have hockey on the mind, of course. The Draft in Montreal is approaching. I am crazy excited to be hitting that up. Puck Daddy has a contest to build a non foil Stanley Cup replica. And if you know anything about me, you know I am going to attempt that with cupcakes. I may or may not have purchased supplies to make it happen. There might be drawings with various marker colors planning out what would be the most structurally sound composition. There is a chance there have been Googlings to determine the adhesive properties of buttercream frosting. Lori of HFSS has a contest. Enter it. There is a prize!

I think this is painfully long enough. That’s what she said.

Oh and watch Sex Decoys: Love Stings on the Fox Reality Chanel. It’s amazing. I learned about it from watching The Soup. Joel McHale knows what I love.

So is Glee.

doing it for the girls.

I had all intentions of writing about the Bantam Draft today, which is really important for  the Chiefs in terms of building and adding new talent. But as far as I am concerned, I have more pressing matters to address.

Let’s knock off this slagging on hockey players ok? More specifically, doing it in a manner that means taking a dig at women. Allow me to illustrate, calling the Sedin Twins the Sedin Sisters. Referring to Sidney Crosby as Cindy. Criticizing players by saying they are being a pussy or bitching out. I refuse to put up with this. It’s not cute. I get that hockey is aggressive blah blah blah, trash talk blah blah. But come on now, be clever! Say something witty, it will win you more phone numbers than being an un-evolved lunkhead. I am saying this for your benefit. Join me in modern society. It’s a wonderful place and we have cable internet and so many PopTart flavors.

It’s an insult to how amazing women are. You want to say a player is fighting like a girl? Have you seen an honest to god chick fight and not the porno pillow fight variety? Yeah it’s scary. Three words: Lee Press Ons. Us ladies have enough to deal with, such as “am I a harlot for liking tank tops and lower necklines?” “am I betraying my gender by listening to Lil Kim?” We don’t need dudes mouthing off with a “these broads amirite?!” Hugh Hefner attitude. And do not get me started on the war brides of the Girls Next Door…

And before you think I am some feminazi boner killer, I’d inform you I am quite the modern gal. I see no issue with shaving my legs on the regular and calling myself a feminist. I am proud of what I can do on my own. Something my grandmother’s generation isn’t exactly used to. Think of your amazing mothers and sisters and the shit they put up with. You want to be that guy? Man up, moose.

I absolutely love and adore hockey. I am protective of it. I understand the complexity of fighting and politics of fighting. I supremely dislike the presence and the idea of ice girls in hockey, but I get the dollar signs involved. I adore the camaraderie of the rink. The seeing the regulars and asking how they are. My arena feels like home home even though the rosters are prone to numerous shake ups every season. I like wearing a hoodie and jersey for the bulk of the year and fishing out programs and ticket stubs out of the bottom of my enormous purse.

Is my asking you to consider your mouth so much?

So the next time you think about hating on another player, think about your words and would you say it to any of these dames;

I didn’t think you would.

schennanigans.

NP You were drafted fifth overall. It was a huge deal. Did you buy anything to celebrate?

LS No. My present was just getting that Leafs jersey. That was the best thing, and afterwards, I went back to my hotel with friends and family and that was another present, having them there to share the moment with.

-Luke Schenn interview, 2008.

The other day was the NHL draft lottery which was probably the most boring non-event on television aside from when QVC is selling Lock n Lock storage containers and people call in to tell the host how many sets they have purchased for which family members. Yes, I take my watching television very, very seriously. Anyways, big shocker the New York Islanders are picking first. Then the ideas started being floated of just what will the Maple Leafs do to get that number one and potentially snatch John Tavares from the Islanders. Apparently the logical conclusion is to offer Toronto to offer up Our Luke and Savior, Schenn.

For the fuck of shit, why would you do that? And from here on out, when I say “you” I mean, “you” as the hypothetical general manager. Did you read that quote? How could you then just say, “ehhh whatevs, Schenn I hope you like Long Island and the Gotti Boys.” Clearly he sees honor in wearing the blue and white while others mock. I know Tavares has said he wants to be a Leaf too, which is really wonderful. But let the Islanders have him. They need to get back on track, they have to dig out of a hole. Sure Tavares can score but Toronto needs to fix the goalie situation at the moment and hang onto some defense.

The Leafs can move forward and build around Schenn. He is still a growing puppy who had a solid rookie season. He will be quite the beast when he fills out and then realizes his own strength. My thing is, why gamble? Sure Tavares maybe lovely and wonderful and had tons of column inches. But I tend to doubt all media hype and products. If you’re ever bored, ask me how I feel about Jessica Alba. Why trade away a shining hope to the fans? Schenners means something, his presence means that the team can turn around and tell the haters, “keep it cute or put it on mute.” With a sassy head snap too.

The Leafs are in position to draft seventh which I am kosher with. My warm, fuzzy feelings for Schenn and his panty melting tendencies aside, I have been screaming and rambling about a Jared Cowen and Schenn defensive pairing for months. And if I end up being right, I am going to do the most amazing routine for the “I told you so” dance. It will be more glitzy and dazzling than Chicago. More glitter and pizzazz than Xanadu. But with a bit of Kelly Kapoor;

presents. presents. presents.

I don’t have it in me to take down the playoff tracker sidebar at the moment…

now with more haterade.

FOR THE FUCK OF SHIT, please stop moving games. I would really like to know if the Chiefs can do something such as mess with a playoffs schedule for something trivial. Yes, I referred to this Gonzaga game as trivial. Moving games because of food poisoning? Yes, that was pretty much needed. Games being shuffled becausee most of the region was a state of emergency, buried in snow? Yep, it had to be done. But moving a playoff game for Gonzaga? Ehhhh no, that is not a must happen scenario. Choose where you want to be. It’s cake or pie. You can’t have both. And what’s with this caring about Gonzaga when it’s only convienent/money/brackets involved? Look, I think it’s great people support the Bulldogs since they’ve won shit. Perhaps it will put more bodies in the arena, but still it means shoving the Chiefs into the background.

Whatevers. All I can say to the boyos, y’all better come out with some swagger. Use the extra time to come out swinging. The swinging is figurative because I don’t want any more injuries, suspensions, etc.

Oh and filed under HAWTNESS;

"...if they hate then let em hate and watch the money pile up."

Stick tap to Scotty Wazz for sending me that clipping from Prospects Magazine.

now i wanna be your dog.

You know, I didn’t watch the game tonight. Thinking my not watching would somehow equate luck. I saw Watchmen which is wonderful if you don’t consume any liquids before the two hour and forty-five minute cinematic adventure. I made the mistake of drinking beverages and deciding when I should run to the bathroom. After the flick I stuffed Chinese food in my face because when presented with a combo menu I tend to go a bit overboard. It was a valiant effort and I mostly was the victor however I know when to properly admit defeat and I muttered “to go box, please.”

I pull up the scoring summary and I am not pleased. Not pleased at all. Here is the deal kittens, if you aren’t going to try. I am not going to try. Yes the missing holes in the lineups are brutal. But I am convinced by employing the method of playing your face off, this problem can be somewhat remedied. For the love of something can Dustin Tokarski please have a break? James Reid has proved he has the poise to occupy the crease when St Tokarski needs to take a chill.

So because I think this is fitting for some odd reason;

Oh and former Chief Derek Ryan won a thing. God it’s late…I should be sleeping.

Hookers, Victims and Doormats.

I was cruising through Puck Huffers and they tipped me off to the existence of the Scarlet Caps, which is the female version of the Washington Capitals site. UGH. This might be more offensive than pink jerseys. THE WEBSITE LOOKS LIKE A BROTHEL. No really. Go look, it’s crushed velvet everywhere. And then there is the headshots of the talent, I mean escorts, no wait hookers. Oh, the players. Huh. This is site is apparently about hockey. I don’t get it. Clearly the person running this madness believes presenting hockey in the format of a Cosmo mag or Sex and the City is THE way to get the womenfolk in on this. And why is it called scarlet? Is it like harlot? Because all women are whores? I mean there is the whole, I dunno, Scarlet Letter and being an adultress. And you know? I have referenced that book in posts a few other times which is crazy given how much I hate it.

hey babe, I got tattoos...

Ok so real talk; I sorta have a thing for Mike Green. But this picture. Uhhhh no. I no longer have a thing for him. And that tattoo bicep thing makes me giggle and as for tribal ink, on most dudes that’s a “danger, douche rocket” alert. And his hair is lacking the anime pop that I used to find so charming. I think I might be over him.

hey babe like my big...composite stick?

I feel like Tyra Banks for what I am about to write. Milan you have excellent and dynamic bone structure you just need to know how to work it. See, I have a huge forehead and when I was in Paris modeling I needed be be less RAWR and more Ahw soft and subtle. You see the difference? Do that with your chin. You can take Ahhhhhmazinggggg pictures, but I don’t know if you have what it takes to be America’s Next Top Model.

hey babe...this is my thoughtful face.

“So join now, ’cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there’s more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?”

hey babe...vampires are so in

I think it’s only fair that for any dude who has been involved with Paris Hilton that their bio comes with some sort of STI/STD warning and perhaps some Valtrex. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE SHAVE YOUR FACE. It looks awkward. You like an extra for Twilight. Not that I would know at all. I am just saying you look like a super, low rent bargain basement version of the vaguely hot dude from Twilight the media tells me to like.

hey babe...zippers are easy.

His hoodie doesn’t have a shirt under it. It bugs me sooooo much. Am I supposed to undress him with my eyes or something? Honestly Shaone looks like a bleary eyed gamer who was interrupted in the middle of grinding out rep for a really sweet two hander epic. A Rockstar and some Doritos should perk him up.

At the end of each bio I was surprised there wasn’t a eHarmony link so they could match the dudes with someone who looks like their sister and then they could get married and talk about their dog and how they love doing Sudoku together for a Friday night date. No really I “get” the concept of catering the game to the ladies but for those of us who already are fans, it feels like a smack in the face. I understand the need for chicks to feel some comfort in the sport. But the eye candy pics and ridiculously girlie wallpapers. I am half surprised the site doesn’t have sparkles and My Little Pony. It’s all so Chippendales, minus the tearproof G-strings. C’mon NHL, treat  your dames better…

(all pics via Scarlet Caps)

straight up ballin’ out of control.

Things to note. Well first I considered sprucing these up and making this post enjoyable but I just watched the Leafs/Lightning and…..oh fuck it.

-Goaltender Dustin Tokarski has won 67 career games in a Spokane jersey, tied for second all-time with Scott Bailey and just one short of the career record set by Aren Miller.

Tokarski win 13 games as a 17-year-old rookie in 2007-08 and 30 games last season. Through 37 starts this season, the Tampa Bay Lightning’s fifth round selection has won 24 games.

The Watson, Saskatchewan product is also threatening to break his own single season goals against average record he set last year at 2.05.Tokarski leads the WHL with a 1.82 goals against.

Although the Chiefs season high winning streak of 11 games was snapped last Friday against the Vancouver Giants Spokane still has one streak remaining after winning their sixth in a row away from home last Saturday night. The six game road winning streak is the third year in a row that Spokane has won that many in a row as the visiting team.

via Spokane Chiefs website.

Ok so that last item is worded terribly. And I didn’t write it. I copied and pasted that shizz.

Dustin Tokarski set a number of franchise records last season, including shutouts and lowest goals against average, and was named the Memorial Cup MVP to help him garner the Inland Nortwest’s Amateur Male Athlete of the Year award.

via Spokane Chiefs.

Ahw more recognition for my kitten! The name of the award does make me giggle. Like whoa. It sounds a bit like a porno. But that might just be me.

Sunday is team poster give away night. I love those. I have one from like the past four seasons. Last season Tokarski was the only one smiling in the picture. Man I hope they let the boys smile this time.

fashion show! fashion show! fashion show at lunch!

Points to whoever knows where the title is from.

I interrupt your regular progaming with a PSA. JARED SPURGEON THIS COULD BE YOUR LIFE, OK? Actually Jared, it’s not your fault the Islanders drafted you. In fact, I was worried you were going to get passed over the last draft because you are a baby defenseman. A highly effective one. But most teams want monsters. And you are just a meowing little kitten who is capable of occasionally roaring. I am off track. All this shit was a literary device to make fun of ice girls.

orange you glad the Islanders are tanking for Tavares? that was terrible...

Seriously though, when one is wearing orange, it is ideal that is also not one’s skin tone. For some reason as far as the minors go, all I can think of is Superbad and McLovin proclaiming “I have a boner.” Bonus points for the spray on abs…

color cordination fail.

Ok so, we have navy pants trimmed with orange. A pink and white jersey and a powder blue hat. She looks like she is going to a house party in like 1998 with like a Cranberries CD. And then she is going to get drunk and spend the whole party talking about how Dawson and Joey are MFEO. Shit I hope Dawson’s Creek was really on then , or it ruins this whole joke.

just....no.

Like….I don’t even know where to begin. Was this outfit rounded up at the local Wal Mart?And then they remember that it needed a team logo? So they found the smallest one possible to put on on her rack? What would Tim Gunn say about all this? “This is a whole lot of look.” “This worries me.” “Andre, why is it you always get in a tiff when we are at Red Lobster?”

twenties and fifties, please.

You stop it. Wait, she reminds me of someone BIKINI CORY! Also, a ton kisses and cupcakes to whoever finds me the youtube embed of that. BECAUSE I EARNED IT.

UPDATE: Grrreg found it;

you are kidding right?

Please tell me it was Halloween. Please. Or tell me I am high or something. Because I thinkkkkkk I see a chick dressed sorta like Sailor Moon. But not. With a shovel. But like crossed with Daffy Duck.

I bet the goalie asked santa for a menage a trois.

We got another orange one which does not look so hot with green crushed velvet. The one in the red; holy hair extensions….I wonder what can one possibly talk about while scraping ice for like 5 minutes? Like weren’t you talking in the tunnel before? Or did you realize you broke a nail?

standard hooter's girl pose

JESUS! Is having a belly ring a job requirement? The fit on the skirt bothers me. It looks wrinkled or something.  I am surprised the logo isn’t on top of her whomp bombers and not under them. Is there a group discount on tanning? Instead of like dental, they get tanning minutes?

Islanders, if you are going to use Ice Girls can you pleaseeeee class them up a tad. Unless a classy girl is an oxymoron. Also, Islanders call me, because clearly I have TONS of burning questions. Thanksssss.

i sometimes wish i could hate you to death.

The game was actually all sorts of awesome. I went in with my usual expecting the worst but ended up pleasantly surprised. Which is something I can say about a lot of movies. Except Jumper. Because that movie was goddamn terrible. Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christiansen; learn 2 act kthxbai.

Oh yeah, back to my usual haterade. FUCK YOU ALL. Not you my darling readers and commenters. But whoever though it would be useful to trade Seth Compton. I get this is how junior hockey works. But I fucking hate it. I would complain less if at the game they would have been like “And Seth Compton will be moving on to the Kamloops Blazers. We wish him nothing but the best and we enjoyed his time as a Chief….” Let the kids go out with some class and dignity but don’t just ship them off like some shit you sell on eBay. GAHHHHHHH. Amazing game aside, Justin McCrae magnet and beating the Chilliwack Bruins 4-1 I SAW ONDREJ. He exists. I squealed when I saw him walking around in a suit and talking to someone in that charming Czech accent of his. My bestie even noticed me checking him out. “Dude, I am pretty sure he knows you are staring at him,” is what he told me. “Oh, but that is ONDREJ!” Clearly, he doesn’t not entirely have the same enthusiasm that I do.

Chemmy I still owe you a post. Tomorrow perhaps.

Compton, you are a gentleman and a scholar. Give em hell, kid.

break me off a piece of that

I am such a pessimist. I truly am. I mean the Calgary Hitmen were on an eleven game winning streak. Keyword: were. It was the debut of the Captain, Justin McCrae. It actually was an entertaining game to watch. Even the Hitman who smacked in a shot from the blue line. Whatever. Dustin Tokarski was on point, stopping a good bunch of the pucks Calgary showered on him. Toka knows how to drop those pads like it’s hot. Goals happened and such and the Chiefs ended up going to what I hate most in this world; shoot outtttttt. But Toka was clutch and Drayson Bowman had the game winner. Also; baby Hitman with the stain on your jersey=not a cute look. Was it Cheeto dust? Did you eat Doritos at intermission and wipe it on your white jersey? I would have taken a picture, but I don’t have permission because the CHL owns these strapping lads.

Scoring summary!

Dear hockey organization,
It’s not cute to flip people shit who have Tokarski Saves hoodies. Yeah, all like 6 of those people. Step off. I jumped through your little hoops. It’s called team pride. You should try loving it sometime.
Kthxbai.

You think I wouldn’t comment on the whole Avery Issue? Well I did. Hop, skip and jump on over to Puck Daddy where I seriously looked at the issue. No really, touched on feminist thought. Wysh called me “seriously under appreciated”. Ahwwwww.

This song isn’t related to anything. It’s by Robyn. Yes, that same Robyn who had the hit in the 90s with Show Me Love. Her album which finally came out in the states about a month ago and it’s flawless. I love it.

paint it black.

I am sure a few of you may have noticed things have been amiss here. And a few of you have been privy to the details. As for the rest of you? Well I got the smack down of sorts. Apparently my cute little blog doesn’t sit well a certain hockey organization. There were some complaints.

My banner; which contained images I didn’t own. The banner which had been up since June, became an issue. Fine whatever. It needed to be changed. Oh and the Tokarski Saves shirts weren’t kosher. Apparently the hockey organization OWNS the players names. I was just a bit irked. No team names, logos or fonts were used and still the tshirts had to go. Alright fine… I guess? And then one of the commenters made a lovely picture of TC Cratsenberg fighting and I relinked it in a post. And I didn’t own that either. Well, I did some digging and under fair use and talking to the Pensblog, there was no reason for that picture to come down. And the picture was originally taken by Gary Peterson. So for that? The kid stays in the picture.

According to CHL rules they own the entire universe essentially. I really started to lose my cool when I was told my personal pictures I had taken of the Chiefs were not allowed to be posted.

We classify photographers at our games in two different groups; fans who are taking pictures for their own personal use and enjoyment and then those who are going to redistribute and republish photos. Your website falls under the second description. The league requires everyone from the booster club to The Spokesman-Review to fill out an application and they’re very protective of how their product (the players images, logos, etc.) is portrayed.

You are kidding me, right? Essentially, they want to control free speech. Now, they would argue otherwise, of course. They would word it differently. But let’s face it, it is what it is. Several emails went back and forth (I’d post the entire thread but it’s lengthy) I was informed I need to get a press and photo pass but due to my site content, the odds were I would not be granted one. I am also frustrated the issue kept shifting and changing. If it wasn’t one thing it was the next. I was really starting to feel beat down and a bit targeted. Believe it or not, I put a good amount of thought into this madness, it’s not some off the cuff thing. Remember my motto of striving to suck less? No really, I always try to suck less. And all this was just a kick in the ribs since it was a few days after my blogaversary.

Clearly, someone doesn’t know how the internet works. See there are these things called blogs and people write in them. Now, some of you might be thinking, “Well what is the issue? Get the press and photo pass.” Because I shouldn’t have to. It’s a blog. I have never claimed to be part of the hockey organization. If anything, I have made it very clear I am in no way attached to or represent the Chiefs. Or you could say, “do you really need pictures?” Absolutely. We are visual beings. I can tell you what a beast Jared Cowen looks like compared to other players, but it doesn’t really mean much until you see a picture of Cow Cow dominating an opponent. Plus their passes allow them to essentially own me. Not in the selling out to the Man sense, but seriously they could potentially interject in my writings. And what would my punishment be to something that wasn’t in line with their system? The passes yanked of course…

And what about these passes? Would I be in theory on par with real, actual journalists? Would I be given the same access? Would be able to sit there and listen to a coach rattle off some cliche ridden response to why the team won or lost? I don’t want that. First of all, if you read this page you might notice the extreme lack of technical jargon because it’s dull, dry and you read one game summary and you have read them all. Second, part of the uh beauty, yeah beauty of this thing is my utter lack of access. I write about fake boyfriends and who can grow a better playoff beard. For some, this is an enjoyable take on a hockey team. As for the others, if it’s not their flavor they can hit the newspapers and I am not the least bit put off. Bonus: the newspaper isn’t as salty mouthed as I am.

Buzz Bissinger presented the case the bloggers are the scourge of the earth, I am paraphrasing. However a good lot of the bloggers take their writing semi to very seriously. His complaint was essentially that a person can write anything and it will be read by many. Yes, this is true. But you have to work to have an audience. And I truly believe perhaps naively, that unless a blog has a greater redeeming value it will not survive. I like to think my redeeming value is a view of a WHL team outside of the norm. I see the vibrant personality in a team I adore. I am fairly certain I said in a few posts back, this my version of a love letter to the Chiefs. Perhaps you might be able to imagine the shock and hurt when more or less I was told that we should just be friends.

What am I going to do? Keep being myself babycakes. I urge all my blogging friendlets to take a half hour or so and make yourself familiar with the fair use copyright laws. You aren’t going to learn it in school, educate yourself. Know what your rights are. I know, that is completely dorky and weighty to say but just know how far you can push things before you get served with papers or avoid the stern talking to that maybe occurs before being served like I had. I am not necessarily advocating flirting with disaster all the time. Then bloggers will be knocked down to plebeian status, instead of whatever rank is above the plebs. I was extremely fortunate to know some lawyers who also happen to have hockey blogs on the side. They were incredibly kind and patient with my picking their brains and sending many emails.

I highly doubt this will reach the fervor of the Covered in Oil debacle.

Later I will post the CHL rules I was sent, since the numbers of those writing about the O, the W and the Q is climbing and being aware in case someone from your local hockey team tosses an email at you, there is some element of preparedness.

Oh and if possible, can you people link this up and down the block? Thanks.

[Update; I realize due to some terrible wording there could be slight confusion. I was not served papers. I was talked to by two members of the organizations PR department. However, I bet legal papers weren't too far off if I hadn't complied with a few of their requests. Does the fact I wasn't contacted by a team or league lawyer make it better or worse? Well, I really don't know.]

damn the man.

Remember when America cared about things? Like that time we kicked England’s tea into the harbor. Or protested from universities even with armed forces hurling tear gas into the buildings.

A Canadian cares. Steve Dangle does.

Weighing in on the joke of a system with the All Star game. It almost makes the Florida Debacle look like child’s play.

For the record I picked Rainbow Brite for starting goaltender.

stabby.

I don’t know who I hate more right now; Comcast or Center Ice. Alllllll I wanted to do was watch some hockey before I head out for the Chiefs game. I figured I would watch the Leafs and make eyes at Luke Schenn. Oh wait. I can’t watch the fucken game. Why? Apparently it’s on NHL Network. And on top of the ridiculous amount I am forking over to get Center Ice. I am supposed to spend more to get the NHL Network? Fuck your birthday. No really. No birthdays for you. I am taking it away. You don’t deserve one for being such a goddamn prick. You can’t bother to let me have NHL Network with my Center Ice? You pump these commercials down my throat about the fucko in California with such a boner for Sidney Crosby and he is just so jacked he can watch the Pens from sunny SoCal with Center Ice. Well, I’d like to watch the Leafs right now, so make it happen you junksluts. I hate you so much right now.