always wear colors.

This is me. With the gang from Pension Plan Puppets. Obvs, the Habs fans don’t like us. I screamed and cheered so much I lost my voice. I am still working on recovering. Yes I took Chiefs cheersticks for us. They were essential.

Great Moments in Sports Interviews;

I rewound my DVR about four times to makes sure I heard this correctly. And then I had to record it to share with the world. Just….unreal.

tip it!

I invented a drink tonight;

One tumbler, some ice.
Slice strawberries, add a splash of strawberry schnapps.
Some vodka to you liking.
Finish with club soda and a dash or two of powdered sugar.

Lori decided it should be called The Marc Andre Fleury. Or Toka on the Beach. Pretttty sure it’s getting called the second one.

The Pens were victorious. Oh yeahhhh.

titled from this…about 1:16

This has not gone well.

Chiefs lose in 2nd OT. You know the drill; this will become a longer post later.

Oi, the Chiefs are trying to kill me. It all could have been wrapped up last night but it wasn’t. Instead the Giants won in the 2nd overtime period. On the bright side it wasn’t the 4th? I don’t even know. I think the boyos were a bit exhausted still from the last game and then the traveling. But most of them played through while others were clearly off their game. Mike Reddington in particular was looking a bit sloppy and ended up being minus two on the night. Spokane’s Own Special Sauce Tyler Johnson scored a goal and Stefan Ulmer (ya rly!) smacked in a goal too. Both those goals were assisted by Mitch Wahl and (oh heyyyyy) Levko Koper. The Ulmz goal nearly brought the arena down in the third period. There was screaming, near tears and lots of high fiving. I have no idea why the Chiefs couldn’t get it done in the overtime. So many near goals happened and I am not sure why the kittens couldn’t finish it.

I am not a fan of Evander Kane. Not at all. He is a bit Kyle Beach-esque.

Don’t count the Chiefs down yet. Having to win a game 7 is never the scenario I hoped for, and having to pull it out not on home ice. It can’t be done. I realllllly want to see the Chiefs push off the sluggishness and play their faces off. Get out your lucky rabbit’s foot, game is Tuesday.

Onto things more exciting; The Pensblog has put together a wonderful online bracket. Seriously you just click it sorts the reseeding for you. How rad is that? Also the tPB is doing what they can to raise $10,066 for the Mario Lemieux Foundation. You don’t have to donate money to do the bracket, but I think you can fine five bucks in your wallet to donate to a charity. I filled out my bracket and it took forever. Mainly because I have no attention span and was multitabbing and forgotten I started filling my picks out. I don’t want to share my terrible choice…You can register and fill out the bracket here, do ittttttt.

Finally, the commercial that makes me tear up…

schenntastic.

Archie is one of my favorite peeps. If I send him some Cookie Crisp, he is more than happy to send me some ketchup chips. Reading the player surveys of the Chiefs, they all love ketchup chips. I must have some. The way I feel about buffalo ranch Doritos is the way they feel about the ketchup chips….  I think that is a reasonable exchange for such a taste experience.

And then he IM’s this afternoon;

Archi: Luke Schenn is sitting courtside at the Raptors game.
Archi: with a girl.
me: WHAT?!
me: who is this bitch?

Then Archi sends me this picture;

<3 that hat.

Maybe it’s his sister? I dunno. And I don’t know anything about basketball, I hate March Madness. But man I would sell my soul to share a milkshake with that mothereffer. He has been on the awesome streak as of late.

There was him fighting Dominic Moore;

And then the next night fighting a Steve Montador;

And just because I can…

hey babe, I love your new hair.

Stud Status. Instead of doing things that are productive, I did random youtube searches. Oh look, a video of Schenners playing NHL 09. What a man. What am I going to do in the off season AND THERE ARE NO LUKE SCHENN MOMENTS TO BE HAD?! I don’t know that I want to think of that world.

welcome to spokompton, bitch.

Man oh man. I love The OC. I still harbor a deep love of Seth Cohen and Ryan Atwood. I take comfort that every afternoon on SoapNet I can watch a solid two hour block of The OC and just sit there and say, “man oh mannnnn Cohen is dreamy…did I eat all the goldfish crackers?” Tonight at the game I was thinking, “man I love the Bromance line.” Calla/Roman/Bowman get shit done. Drayson Bowman reminded everyone that this is HIS show. He is Cohen-esque I’d say. Which makes Brady Calla Ryan. And Ondrej Roman is….oh man perhaps I didn’t think this through all the way. But I did perhaps consider the idea that Bowman watches The OC while eating Crasins while crushing on Summer…Anyways. Hockey. Bows smacked in two goals and was assisted twice by Calla and once by Roman. Baby Pick was precious in the pipes. I have such a love for him and his routine. He drinks water from a bottle kinda like a gerbil. Adorable. I still haven’t been able to find out if the Thunderbirds have player buttons, as their own fans aren’t entirely sure. Whatevs. Can I say I like Donaghy the Defenseman? Cause I doooooooo.

Girling out;

I don’t cry over bitches on boats.

Forwhatnow?

zombies….on ice.

The game was quite dull. I felt bad for the kittens. The awards were presented before the game and I only remember a few. Scholastic went to Kuhn. MVP went to Toka. Spurgalicious picked up defensemen and the lockerroom awards. Johnson picked up a few as well. I saw a dude in a Luke Schenn Rockets jersey. <33333

As for the game…well then. I can’t be mad at the boys, they really tried. Drayson Bowman I think is the one Chief who never slacks off. I don’t think he has it in him to phone it in. Perhaps he wasn’t out late with the Thursday poker shenanigans and wasn’t ill…Tokarski was really crisp and I wasn’t disappointed. Mitch Wahl on the other hand was a bit of a mess. Was he delirious with a fever or something? He has having problems staying on his skates and was just not in typical form. The team was just out of it, but I like to think they were actually trying. I suppose on the bright side the game wasn’t a bloodbath since the Chiefs lost 1-0…

I spent the game twittering with The Canadian, one of my favorite people. Then she wrote this ahhhhmazing post you better read.  She started to pull music picks for a theorhetical Chiefs movie. That obviously Emilo Estevez has to play coach in. I mean honestly, what is he doing these days?

Anyways it wasn’t the regular season finale I was hoping for, but I can live with it. I have some picture to edit and sort through before I toss them up. Post season action starting Friday and Saturday.

Enjoy the Stereophonics. ♥

Take a look at me now.

Oh and I have to say it’s really great that when I come home after a game there are a bunch of comments. Thanks lovelies. Have a great St Patricks Day.

Tokarski Saves/Donaghy Shaves.

ARGH. What are doing with the staches? Going ahead as planned I think. Dita would want us to. And WE PLANNED SHIT! All staches are go for Friday. I am continuing my declaration.

Tonight for the Hockey Armor 7th man they decided to bring a tot out for the whole starting line. I shouldn’t call some of them tots. As a few of them were 12 and taller than me, though that isn’t entirely hard to accomplish given I am 5′2″. The whole time B and I were cooing at the boy with Dustin Tokarski. I totally wanted to know what they were talking about. Toka helped him get his gear off for the anthems. Yes there were two, the American and then the Austrian one for Ulmer. Or was it Swiss? I wasn’t taking notes. I was cooing. Brady Calla was totally sweet as well to the kid standing with him.

Oh hockey. Yes. A game and such. Despite wearing my Tokarski jersey I was hoping James Reid would log some minutes because from here on out, it’s going to all be on Tokarski. Toka didn’t look like a tuckered out kitten, which is nice. The Chiefs really are getting their something back. I wanted to say marbles but that isn’t the right word. Their mojo? Their groove? Some other 90s cliche?

I might have perhaps yelled EVERYONE GETS A GOAL TONIGHT too soon. But the thought was there. It was a quality effort and I can’t hate. Actually I can. The first goal that Everett somehow popped in. So I think the score should read 7-1. And you know what? Their second goal was meh. So I thinkkkkkk that means Tokarski got a shutout by my fake numbers. It’s the new math. Isn’t it hot? Blake Gal and Paul Sohor fought in the third. Blake didn’t do so wonderful but the best part was when Sohor got 17 in penalties and tried to angrily leave the ice….and totally fell on his ass. Yes kitten, we all saw it.

Here is your scoring summary.

Go to youtube and pop it into HD to watch. It’s worth it.

Cupcakes for Callas. Because I said so.

[[EDIT: OMG. Steve Dangle whom I love and adore did a video for the Puck Huffers whom I also love and adore. Watch the video. Tokarski comes up. And a killer Vesa impersonation.]]

switching the style up.

I have no routine or rituals to attribute to luck or chasing off bad juujuu. I remember learning in anthropology about what certain tribes would do to bring good fortune. I don’t think I have particular habits. I put on whichever shoe I grab first. And as for hoodies I tend to toss them on, both sleeves at once. That said, in a way I did my anti ritual ritual with the Chiefs on the road. I pulled up the WHL site on occasion, hoped for the best and tried to see what story I could read from the numbers. I was disappointed that Dustin Tokarski was in net. I love the kitten, but he is getting tuckered out. He made 34 saves (love that number) on 36 shots. Levko Koper and Stefan Ulmer were plus 4 on the night, saucy! Tyler Johnson posted a goal and two assists and the Chiefs bested the Cougars 5-2 and that was even with Prince George outshooting. You found some chemisty boys, good on you.

Pop into HQ.  It relates to nothing, I just adore it.

now i wanna be your dog.

You know, I didn’t watch the game tonight. Thinking my not watching would somehow equate luck. I saw Watchmen which is wonderful if you don’t consume any liquids before the two hour and forty-five minute cinematic adventure. I made the mistake of drinking beverages and deciding when I should run to the bathroom. After the flick I stuffed Chinese food in my face because when presented with a combo menu I tend to go a bit overboard. It was a valiant effort and I mostly was the victor however I know when to properly admit defeat and I muttered “to go box, please.”

I pull up the scoring summary and I am not pleased. Not pleased at all. Here is the deal kittens, if you aren’t going to try. I am not going to try. Yes the missing holes in the lineups are brutal. But I am convinced by employing the method of playing your face off, this problem can be somewhat remedied. For the love of something can Dustin Tokarski please have a break? James Reid has proved he has the poise to occupy the crease when St Tokarski needs to take a chill.

So because I think this is fitting for some odd reason;

Oh and former Chief Derek Ryan won a thing. God it’s late…I should be sleeping.

Spurgalicious definition; the megapost edition

Ok so The Panel and I decided this had to be like the best game. Ever. Of all time. Where do I begin with the utter awesomeness? Ok welllllll I thought Ondrej Roman was going to punch someone. He was getting feisty. I laiiiike it. I laiiiiike it a lot. So many goals scored by the Chiefs and Dustin Tokarski was flawless. Again. 6-0, thanks for coming out Kootenay. The Ice started to show their frustrations in the second when the fights started breaking out. Levko Koper fought again. You know what? Here is your penalty summary;

whoa.

At one point the Ice decided to get all up in Tokarski’s Kool Aid which he never takes kindly to. There was smack talk with the Ice goalie. I was hoping with my heart of hearts for a goalie fight. But he knew better. Instead he popped his jersey and pointed at the scoreboard. I sure do pick the good ones.

Anyways I could probably go on about how the Chiefs were great and fighting the bounciness of the puck in the first and the passing was quite lovely. I mean Tyler Johnson had two goals and Bowman, Donaghy, Spurgeon and Wahl put some points up. But instead, let’s do a picture post.

Wahl and Spurgalicious observe fisticuffs.

"I said your mom is a real classy lady!"

the awesome mask. until I come up with a better name than the girlie mask.

Andddddd Luke Schenn continues to be on my top list of hockey boyfriends. I mean I am a sucker for defenseman and goalies…and fowards….shit. Oh I am off task. Yes, Schenngasms. He just shows undending enthusiasm that reminds me of Scrappy Doo. His “lemme at em”-ness is just charming and endearing. I am quite aware I am not the only one swooning. I think The Vesa is too;

they laiiiike each other. they laiiiike each other a lot. no that joke doesn't get old.

What really sealed the deal was this video clip. YOU GOT SCHENN’D, PENS!

Schenn call me? You can email me too. Or facebook me. Or IM me. Really. I luff you.

Oh shit, I forgot to do cupcakes. Uhm I’d give a bunch to Toka for being studly. And then some for everyone else. Extra for Jared Cow Cow as he is out injured. Get better, kitten! Your other half misses you. I mean, you two are The Jareds.

Boys as usual, will be boys.

You know, I could write a novella. But why should Kyle Beach get the column inches?

3 – M.H Cameron, 19:09 – Roughing , 2 min
3 – M.H Cameron, 19:09 – Roughing , 2 min (PP)
3 – M.H Isherwood, 19:09 – 10-Minute Misconduct , 10 min
3 – M.H McCue, 19:09 – Instigator , 2 min
3 – M.H McCue, 19:09 – Major-Fighting , 5 min
3 – M.H McCue, 19:09 – Major-Fighting , 5 min
3 – M.H McCue, 19:09 – Game Misconduct , 10 min
3 – M.H McCue, 19:09 – Game Misconduct , 10 min
3 – LET Beach, 19:09 – Roughing , 2 min
3 – LET Beach, 19:09 – 10-Minute Misconduct , 10 min
3 – LET King, 19:09 – Instigator , 2 min
3 – LET King, 19:09 – Major-Fighting , 5 min
3 – LET King, 19:09 – Game Misconduct , 10 min
3 – LET King, 19:09 – Game Misconduct , 10 min
3 – LET Orfino, 19:09 – 10-Minute Misconduct , 10 min
3 – LET Orfino, 19:09 – Game Misconduct , 10 min
3 – LET Sceviour, 19:09 – Major-Fighting , 5 min
3 – M.H Kundratek, 19:51 – Hooking , 2 min (PP)
3 – M.H King, 19:54 – Major-Fighting , 5 min
3 – LET Braes, 19:54 – Major-Fighting , 5 min

It’s electrifyin’.

The Tampa third jerseys are pretty much ho-rendous. But he still looks great in it. It looks like they tossed him the medal at the last second. “Yes, you HAVE to wear the medal, you have to prove that some person affiliated with this organization has won something.” He was wearing 34 too. I don’t want to think about this being his last season in a Chiefs sweater. Does he really have to go to the team that is geographically furthest from me? I mean come onnnnnnnn.

I do not advise playing hockey in hookercouture.

I happen to be something of a reality show afficianado/junkie/obsessive. My forays into Project Runway and America’s Next Top Model have been batted around here a few times. I have quite the intense relationship with Vh1. It’s good to me. It’s adequately trashy and brainless with the occasional nuggets of smarts. This episode of Rock of Love: Tour Bus of STIs (sexually transmitted infections, not super turbo injections) finds the chicks somewhere in Illinois. I think the town was called Champagne to the delight of the boozers of the group which is all of them. The challenge was to protect Baby Brett, on ice. And honestly. EW;

I think this could serve as effective birth control.

Brett, that is one wackass weave. I mean really. And that eyeliner, egads. Put it down. Just stop, really. Now let’s met the ladiesssssssss…..

there must be some Toros in the atmosphere.

not naturally occuring.

her cups runneth over....

They have names. I didn't take notes. Brittni? Tiffani? Brandi? Does it matter?

"oh like....does she like have a concussion?" "that's a bummer"

medical scare! potential popped implants!

This episode actually had more hockey in than Pucked did. Which says something. But both had past their prime rockers, no points awarded? The goal was to maneuver Baby Brett between the pipes and there was some point system. It couldn’t be that easy as some chicks who actually can play were brought in to break up the monotony and inflict pain. Ohhhh and pain for sure happened. Ripped out belly rings! Ruptured fake boobies! Concussions!

I thought bellyrings went out like, circa Britney's I'm a Slave For You.

This is the real gem of the show which I ninja recorded to share with you my darlings;

UPDATE: Wysh linked this on Puck Daddy then VH1 filed a claim on it on YouTube within like five minutes, despite the fact it had already been up for about 4 days. My first copyright infringement! WOOOOOO. Sorry, the vid is gone. I will see if I can upload it elsewhere.

That is right. She would have been an Olympian if she didn’t have to hang up her skates. But she is ok with the fact she does porn now, ok? Right?!

I just might have to go back and snatch the footage of the chick freaking out with the EMT about her possibly leaking boob. “Are they uhhhh silicone or saline?” “How am I supposed to know that?”"Get an X-ray.”

What did the winners get out of this? A date with Brett at a strip club. Wherein he strongarmed them to go on stage and dance about. A few had no probs with this request. While one was smart enough to realize; 1. she has kids 2. she is in a strip club 3. this is being recorded and 4. the whole joint shouldn’t see her twazila for free, that’s just economics.

One of the chicks, for reasons unknown, stole all the used hockey socks after the game and stashed them in a pillow case on the bus. In the confessional she insisted she asked the people at the rink if she could have the used socks. And really I don’t need a punchline because that is just too weird.

Really, Sean Avery should have cameo’d on this epi of Rock of Love. But I think even he has standards.

W.A Curl Watches National Lampoon’s Pucked So You Don’t Have To.

Yes it’s true. I watched a terrible movie. I am a bit irked this take doesn’t have the awesome joke I made about JBJ having frosted mom hair. Maybe that is only funny to me. If you don’t watch the video just know; YOU SHOULD NEVER WATCH THE MOVIE PUCKED. Ok? Good. I say this out of kindness and love. I neglected to mention the Frenchie rips off her jersey when she scores a goal. You have been warned.