There was hockey. And I was thrilled. It was a bit odd to watch. Because who do I cheer for? It is Chief versus Chief. I ended up going Team White since Toka was in the pipes for them. The boys looked amazing and the noobz were totally hustling trying to earn a slot on the team. The final score ended up being 3-1 Team White. Posting goals for White; Dustin Donaghy, Justin Falk and Seth Compton. And the lone Team Red goal was a beauty by Tyler Johnson.
Today I took in some more hot Chiefs action. It was Team Sawyer (Red) against Team Klemm (Blue). I will once again transcribe my scribbled notes and nonsensical musings. And tell you about a delightful run in I had today as well.
Continue reading ‘baby Chiefs scrimmage; red vs. blue edition’
Wow this is being posted late. Because I was out galavanting. And just got back from a midnight showing of Death Race. You guys, it is so epic and full of win it’s not even funny. It’s aces. So I dropped in and watched the boys do their thing. I even took notes. I was prepared. If my handwriting weren’t so bloody awful I would have scanned my notes (because they are funny that way) instead I will just type it all here
Alright kittens, it’s time for me to cover some actual hockey. Even hockey related to my team. So, let’s put aside the Project Runway and Sean Avery and get down to some Chiefs business. I have held off on updates, now there is a pile. Shall we continue? It’s the Get in the Box link round up…
First order of business, uhm, we don’t have a coach at the moment. Yes, I am aware we upped Bill Peter’s contract back in like, March for three more seasons. And we were all thrilled because of the amazing turnaround the Chiefs have made. While I am glad he will be moving up the coaching ranks. It still is disappointing because we won the Memorial Cup and he said “peace out, ciabattas.” It’s like, you have a string of great dates with some superfox and you are just drunk on all the hardcore making out. Then you call and find out they have a girlfriend after all. Ugh. Men.
Hold it right there…An update. Thanks to Dylan for sending me this story. We have a coach, peeps. Hardy Sauter, who served as assistant coach with Peters. This bodes well, I think…
Also, Jace Coyle has been traded to the Medicine Hat Tigers. Cuts had to be made, he was a decent kid who didn’t get a chance to see a lot of play. In return, we get some Bantam picks. Whatever. At least we didn’t trade for half a Snapple and some Doritos?
BTW, where have all our boys gone? Jared Spurgeon was at Islander camp. Click here for a video of little Jar Jar. It’s a shame his helmet obstructs the hair. Judd Blackwater was invited to the Chicago Blackhawks summer fun. Sadly, the Blackhawks do not believe in letting the public know how their potential baby Blackhawks did. Chris Bruton (El Capitan) snagged an invite to the Calgary Flames camp. Here is a video of Brutzy. He is such a well spoken individual and I miss him already. He is rather handsome now that the playoff beard is gone. As for what he decided, well, he is getting schooled. Brutzy will be going to Acadia University and playing with the Axemen. At camp with Chris was Mitch Wahl, who kept his teeth hidden away during this interview and I never knew his voice was so manly…
In case you didn’t know, they are going big time. Dustin Tokarski is at Camp Canada showing them how one properly holds it down in the pipes. We already know what he has been up to in Ottawa… Drayson Bowman is reppin’ USA at Lake Placid along with Tyler Johnson and Mitch Wahl. Jared Cowen got an A (not of the scarlet variety) at the under 18 Canada camp.
[Jared Cow Cow. Back, left. image via hockeycanada.ca]
They are getting contracts, son! Smokin’ hot David Rutherford signed with an ECHL team, the Charlotte Checkers. He is another Chief I will miss. He is so lovely at agitation, very Avery. There was that time he received a two minute penalty for hair pulling. Oh yes please… Drayson Bowman sorted things out with the Carolina Hurricanes and is close to scoring a slot on their roster. But I have a feeling Bows will enjoy one more season with the Chiefs.
Ugh, is summer over yet? While it’s all hot out, be sure to pick up a Tokarski Saves shirt You would look great rockin’ one at the beach. You can even get it in tank top version, to tan even more of your surface area. Seriously, buy some merch. Funny thing, my job caught on fire. There was an incident at Sonic, not my fault. Anyways not entirely sure when I am working again. Sooooo, help keep a girl stocked on Dr Peppers. Eyebleaf picked up a hoodie. Trust him, he is a goalie. He approves.
My pretty pretty goalie has been doing lovely at camp. It’s going to be stiff competition for Team Canada goalie (oh wassup Pickard, Sexsmith and Allen..). But I am confident Toka will fill that slot. However, the ever witty Q Girl sent me a message today:
your boy was just on TV (sportscentre) being interviewed about the team canada jr camp and he had a hickie. either that or he took a stick to the neck, but it was probably a hickie. he has only been in ottawa since saturday and he has already found a skank to nibble on his neck….unless he has been making out with someone else from team red, in which case i say carry on.
LOOK AT HIS NECK! Who did that?! It wasn’t me because I leave love bites where they cannot be seen. I would have at least at the decency to let him borrow some coverup so he would look his best for the media. Btw, I love his new haircut. The faux hawk is tres adorable.
On a more serious note relating to Dustin, he was delayed getting to camp due to the passing of his grandfather. Article here, last item Q-Girl also sent me that link. The Tokarski’s are a family of goaltenders, it’s in the blood. You can read more about the line here.
Nathan over at The World of Junior Hockey has been keeping lovely tabs on the Canada camp action.
I have always been fascinated with the way people try to divide their character and the character of others into groups. It’s probably Quentin Tarantino’s fault we think like this. Jay Z versus Snoop Dogg is my generations Pulp Fiction debacle. See, you have the classic Gin n Juice where Snoop rocks a Pens jersey in the vid or the motherfucking jam 99 Problems and as far as I know Jigga Man is not a Rangers fan.
I had to a terrible shift last night, 6pm to 2:30am at Victoria’s Secret. Why I was there at that time and what I was doing is not the point. The point is, these women have their own character set that I have no idea how to interact with. They had a 20 minute conversation on tanning methods. I would know the length of the conversation because I set my watch as I was hanging up the Very Sexy Infinity Edge Push Up with Gel Curve bras. Apparently, there are multiple tanning methods aside from making like human bacon with Crisco/Coppertone slathered on. You can do beds, or spraying, or a combination. I had no words for this conversation as I currently am, and almost always, the color of a sheet of paper.
All these girls looked pretty much the same and looked at me odd for rocking my Tokarski Saves shirt. They had no idea what it meant, even with the goalie graphic on the shirt. A few asked but most didn’t, because I don’t really get along with them and they probably all think I am a lezzebell because I don’t wear heels to work and I don’t dye my hair every two and a half weeks. They were all an entirely different breed. They eagerly talked about summer plans that involved lakes, getting drunk in Mexico. Maybe perhaps all going together with their boyfriends to a baseball game so they could talk to each other and not have to watch the game.
I was struck with how little I have lined up for summer. All I have going is a mental estimate of when training camps kick into gear and the hockey drought ends. Oh, and I also have lined up getting the fuck out of Victoria’s Secret, seeing as I do not jive with those broads. But on a people basis as a whole, there are hockey people and non-hockey people.
The non-hockey type view it like Thomas Hobbes without even realizing it. That hockey players/human nature is nasty and brutish. However, they aren’t realizing that they do not have suffer the potential consequences (death, dismemberment, curbstomping, beatdowns, shiv fights, drunken boxing, etc.) because we came together to form a social contract (second amendment for the win!). It’s our agreement for societal organization (uh yea about that president..), theory of sovereignty (fuck your tea, England!) and the states existence to protect the citizens (enlist today for a Hello Kitty AK-47).
These bitches are free to go get a Venti whatever four dollar coffee (mostly) without fear of some rebels coming by scratching their Lexi and being bludgeoned.
Every hockey game is a struggle to implement and execute a social contract. In a sense it’s a model for a potential democratic state. In terms of the Chiefs, the defensemen establish the contract for the game being played. Trevor Glass and Jared Cowen smack down any divisive forces, laying the groundwork for democracy. Glasser and CowCow will hit hard and fast at the opposition to allow for the wingers to draft legislation. Drayson Bowman and Ondrej Roman work in conjunction with Glasser and CowCow to hopefully create opportunities for the boyo at the center, Tyler Johnson, to score a goal and silence the combative dissenters. The last line of defense is the netminder Dustin Tokarski. He is there to shift the chaos back to order when any puck comes near him, as this is an act by a hostile nation (suicide bomb attempt) and could become an international conflict (oh hey wassup every country who hates us…). If the contract is crafted and executed successfully, victory will take place and will come with an explode (conquest fire) on contact Memorial Cup.
So when I ask you if you are a hockey person or not, what I am really getting at is; are you for or against the troops?
Seriously, I have no idea what I would without my hockey blogging bestie, Jenn. Once again, she comes through for me and hipping me to this delight of a read;
Tokarski, 17, was the key player for the Spokane Chiefs, who won the Memorial Cup a few weeks back. Choose your superlative: Tokarski was spectacular, lights-out, unconscious. It was the most impressive postseason performance by a junior netminder in recent memory, all the more noteworthy given that it’s usually goalies a year or two older who are taking their teams to the Memorial Cup.
The hilarious part after reading the article was Jenn and I attempting to figure out just how tall that other goalie is compared to Dustin. Apparently, we cannot add inches correctly. It took us like 3 attempts. Is the answer 6′7″?
Today is the THE day for my pretty pretty goalie. And some other Chiefs as well, including the one with the Jim Halpert hair, Tyler Johnson. Here’s hoping the right team recognizes the gem that is Dustin Tokarski and they snatch him up quick. I will be busy cursing at how fast that Kyle Beach will inevitably go.
And of course there will be liveblog action with the MYFOs.
I hear/keeping reading about all the hockey blogger draft party meet ups. I feel like I should be a one since I do write about a slice of the WHL. You know, those Spokane Chiefs. They won that Memorial Cup…
Just know kids, if I were rolling twenties, I would be there with you. Send my best to everyone.
Hey, people looking up Kyle Beach? I suggest you leave my page now. I don’t really have anything nice to say about him. You can dig and dig through my posts. But all you will find is that I reallllllly can’t stand the kid. Oh and there was that time Chris Bruton delivered the most glorious knockout punch on Beach. That was my hockey Christmas.
EDIT: Congratulations to Dustin Tokarski for being picked by the Tampa Bay Lightning. They have Stamkos and Barry Melrose for a coach. Dustin, that’s what we like to call a win. Mitch Wahl, you are gonna do the Flames proud. Jared Spurgeon, the Islanders choose you. Because your hair is magnificent.
Alright, so the hockey blogs have grinded to a halt. Which totally sucks.
However, skip on over to the boyos at He Score, He Shoot and listen to their newest podcast. Get back to me on who your favorite is; Moose or Greener.
Jenn posted an amazing vid she snagged off Youtube. If you don’t like that video? You are letting the terrorists win.
Dani has some suggestions about the Hockey Night in Canada theme song fiasco.
Alix lists the lessons she learned this season from the Canucks.
Loser Domi and I collabed on this literary gem. Face off pie. What is not to like?
Finally; check out Steve Dangle’s latest vid. He has the Don Cherry suit justtttt right. He was just missing a spray tan.
Also, WordPress is being a slut bucket and won’t let me embed videos at the moment.
EDIT;
So, since Jenn somehow reads more on the internet than me. She emails me this story. By the way, Chris Bruton is hilarious. And there is a tidbit about my pretty pretty goalie.
For old time’s sake. I could watch this on repeat for days
Kids, please leave. I am going to use some coarse language not for your delicate little ears. Here, go play Mario Kart on my DS while I talk to the big kids, ok? Fine, you can take my iPod too. No listening to Wu Tang, k? Alright so…
The ever so lovely Jenn sends me THIS LINK today. No really, you need to read it first. It will only take you a second. You might want a towel, you may start foaming at the mouth.
What in the fuck? Are you kidding me? I have no idea what the problem is. I know I am biased, but seriously? First there were the goalie rankings that put Dustin Tokarski at number nine and I think he should have been a bitttt higher on the list. Like top five.
Then, don’t even get me started on the bumbling of names during the Memorial Cup. But I let that bit slide since he was named the Memorial Cup MVP. Oh but when they interviewed him they put his name as “Tolarski.” Maybe excusable since K and L are friendlets on a keyboard. But y’all didn’t write or say his name enough during the Mem Cup madness?
Why does my boy get no love? I think he has just started to prove what he can do.
There was that one time he stopped 53 shots on goal against Kitchener to basically pave the way for the Chiefs to snag the defective Memorial Cup replica that explodes on contact and also snagging the MVP trophy for himself.
There was that time he allowed zero goals in 186 minutes and 15 seconds of play.
There was also the fact he had six (6) shutouts in the regular season.
There the fact he was routinely in the upper class in saves percentage and goals against. Often even besting Chet Pickard whom this alleged scout loves.
But he also loves Kyle Beach. And we all know Kyle Beach is top of the cock sucker list. So, take that as you will. So, just how do I feel about this junk slut who wrote this? Pretty much like this Penny Arcade strip:
Mediocre quickness? Please. Homeboy is part-Jedi!
Sloppy? He is ridiculously OCD. I have detailed his habits before.
Problem player? Uh…have you met any of the goaltenders for the Winterhawks?
Considering Tokarski did not have the luxury of being the underling to Carey Price, I still think he has been solid and reliable. Granted he is not without flaw and he has room to grow. Given that seven teams passed over him before landing with the Chiefs, I think he has shown he wants a place to play and will work to stay in the pipes.
So what the fuck, mate? I am not the only one who believe in the adage that Tokarski Saves. Someone else does too. They bought a shirt.
You just pissed off a lot of people. Who may or may not come after you with torches and pitchforks. Or kick it old school, like heads on sticks, quartering in public squares. There could be a mafia on the way to leave a horse head where you sleep. I am not sayin’, I am just sayin’. I could cut you.
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