all the bodies…

For a Wednesday game, the arena was a bit of a morgue. There were toe tags everywhere. But that might have been the Seattle Thunderbirds. They were uhhhh kinda errrr destroyed? Two hat tricks to be had. You would think the dude in 116 would end up with one year of free Comcast since two hatties occured. But who knows. Drayson Bowman had two goals via penalty shots. Schultzie is right, Baby Pickard is just adorable and button nosed. Tyler Johnson had a hattie. Ondrejjjjj Romannnnn had a goal. Dustin Tokarski was just off. It was comedy of errors though. During practice he stepped on a refs leg and skated off like it never happened. In the first he lost his stick and Mike Reddington was a gent lent him his stick. Then when Toka was making the swich he like tripped and bonked into the boards grabbing his stick. Then a few times during the game to cover the puck he just went down flat on his back, like he was either on the Drop part of Stop Drop and Roll. Or was trying to play dead so a grizzly would stop attacking him.

Chiefs take the cake with a 7-3 victory. The player magnet was Mitch Wahl. He was rather quiet. Oh well.

Cowen Watch: no where to be seen. However Schultz sent this my way from one of her commenters.

all better!

THOSE WILL FIX COWEN! Cupcakes for Cowen. Start your ovens. Buy them here.

levko the lionhearted.

Sports Management Worldwide (SMWW) / International Scouting Services (ISS) 2009 Draft Prospect Performers of the Week presented by the Pipeline Show & Hockey Now ending Sunday, February 15, 2009.

Each week, International Scouting Services (ISS), Sports Management Worldwide (SMWW), Hockey Now, and The Pipeline Show recognize the Top Draft Eligible player from each of the WHL, OHL, QMJHL, & USHL leagues for the upcoming 2009 NHL Entry Draft based on their play over the course of the week. Players are nominated and the selected by graduates of the SMWW Hockey GM & Scouting with each of the winners receiving a gift acknowledging their selection.

WHL – Levko Koper, Spokane Chiefs
Left Wing
Born Oct 5 1990 — Edmonton, ALTA
Height 6.00 — Weight 190 — Shoots L
Levko Koper earns his first nomination as draft performer of the week after registering 2 goals and 8 points in 5 games for Spokane. Koper currently sits second in team scoring with 19 goals and 33 assists for 52 points, a career high, in this his third season in the WHL.

via World of Junior Hockey

I tucked a bunch of good stuff after the jump so the front page isn’t clogged up.

god bless us, everyone.

Metsola got light up like a Christmas tree. I think we may have broken him actually. The first 3ish minutes goals were slide in by Mitch Wahl and Judd Blackwater. Then a ‘Cane hit one in. Whatever, they can have one. Though they tried to claim one before that, kicking the puck past Dustin Tokarski, which after review was waved off. David Rutherford scored in the second. Which was a quick and quiet period. Third period; Drayson Bowman scores and Ondrej Roman score.

Overall the game was neat and clean with very few penalties. I think the Chiefs perhaps were checking like they meant it. Something I politely request a bit ago. I thought the Hurricane fans in attendance was impressive given the epic length of the trip to Spokane. Roughly 8.5 hours.

For serious, how are you going to call your team the Hurricanes? Ain’t no way that Lethbridge is tropical. Or coastal for that matter.

Final damage; 5-2 Chiefs. The best of 7 series is at 2-0 Chiefs.

Why you should love Dustin Tokarski (stats taken from tonight’s program);

Chiefs goaltender Dustin Tokarski was named the Western Conference Championship MVP with four wins, two shutouts, a 1.21 GAA and .953 save percentage. In his last nine games, Dustin Tokarski has three shutouts and a 1.07 goals against average and a .956 save percentage. During the span, Tokarski had a stretch of 186:15 without allowing a goal breaking the previous record of 180:54 set in 1995-96 by David Lemanowicz in the regular season. Tokarski’s mark is fifth all-time in WHL playoff history.

Other bits;
Dear Habs,
Thanks for breaking my fucking heart. I gave you my heart and you gave me a pen! And by “pen” I mean an unreliable Carey Price in the third period!
Love,
Heather

So, for hot, sweaty Stanley Cup action I pick four teams to support; Caps, Flames, Habs and Rangers. Not exactly in that order. But there is some logic behind it. I am not one for the Avs. Forsberg pisses me off. Hating the Red Wings is like, a given. I refuse to accept Hockey Jesus as my Savior. Danny Briere is like, too emo to even function. Oh and Dallas and San Jose; it never fucking snows in your locales. Ever. The Caps gave up a fight. Ovie was actually playing in a ton of pain. On painkillers in fact, but he didn’t want to talk about it. The Flames were stonewalled. The Habs put their money on Price, who at the end of the day still is a rook and prone to mistakes. And the Rangers are about toast. Avery had an unfortunate injury but played with internal bleeding. What have you done lately? So now, who do I support? No one, probably. I am bitter and hate everyone.

ahem,

Alright, so let’s get down to it. It all could have been stitched up last night. Except it wasn’t. Another overtime loss.

Judd Blackwater scored a beauty in the first period assisted by Mitch Wahl and Jared Cowen. The second a goal from an Am. LAME. But there was plenty of chance and enough time for the Chiefs to score, but it just wasn’t happening.

Third period. More of the same fucking shit. Tied up and going into overtime. Then an Am, RED-dick to be precise, smacked in the game winner. And I about clawed the eyes out of the dick Ams fan in front of me. Sweetie, 1985 called, they want their frosted hair back.

I swear it was those motherfucking rally towels the arena handed out before the game (which were handy wiping cotton candy stickiness off). In theory, a rally towel was not needed because the series was at 3-2. But I am convinced those unholy scraps of terry sealed our fate to tie it all up.

So Chiefs, here is what I ask of you tonight. Bust your fucking balls, but do not get sloppy and take penalties. Cowen, you could stand to smarten up a tad. You were all over the place last night. Tokarski, stick just a bittttt closer to your pipes. And can we please check like we fucking mean it? I am sick of this love tap collision shit. Check a bitch! No really, I want to see that y’all mean business.

Can we please just win a fucking trophy? I will settle for the Western Conference. Because let’s face it, regardless who comes out of this is going to be slaughtered by Lethbridge. I’d love for my Chiefs to win it all, because it would coincide nicely with my birthday. But hey, I will take what I can get.

Also, David Rutherford, I know you have some agitator tendencies in you. Let’s crank your Sean Avery status to 11. That would be amazing. You don’t have to wave your hands in front of Pickard. But nudge nudge…

Ondrej Roman, just keep being you. You have been absolutely brilliant this series, I can’t hate. All I can say is, peeps Roman can’t do it alone.

I do not suggest slacking off in this game. Otherwise I will fucking cut you.

Now; a slew of songs for your taking.
Rush by Talib Kweli
Back Like That Remix by Ghostface featuring Mase and Kanye
9 Milli Bros. by Ghostface featuring Wu Tang Clan
Ghetto Superstar/Change Clothes. Jay Z vs. the Fugees
My 1st Song by Jay Z

quel surprise follow up.

Apparently, as soon as I posted about last night, the Chiefs won. Which is pretty much amazing.

Most curious is perusing the box scores is the fact that the Ams were outshooting us like whoa. But in the first Judd Blackwater scored in the first from Chris Bruton and Ondrej Roman. Oh but then an Am scored. Ugh. Second period, oh look another Am scored. Ain’t nothing but a g thang since Drayson Bowman scored twice in the second (Bruton and Mitch Wahl; Stefan Ulmer and Trevor Glass). Oh then it all was tied up in the third. Time to hit overtime, again. Which had me hoping Dustin Tokarski wouldn’t swoop behind the pipes and basically give a goal to the Ams.

And he didn’t. The game winner came from the stick of Blackwater set up Roman and Justin Falk.

Download this: Mo Money Mo Problems by Puffy Daddy featuring Mase

I am getting ready to watch the Rangers/Pens game and apparently Sid the Kid decides when to allow the Pens fans to do a White Out. What in the fuck? This kid is the head cheerleader of the spirit squad? Does he tell the other cheerleaders when to decorate the football team’s lockers and who gets to ride in the stretch Hummer to prom? Also, this kid should never talk to the media, ever. People say David Beckham should be seen and not heard. I’d have to say the same about Sid. Except I do not find the Cros attractive at all.

Mr Avery, I hope you get up in Sid’s face/grill/kool aid, etc. Also, Avery if you could score a couple of goals, that would be great. I am in need of some points for my fantasy hockey team.

Regardless of team, can players please stop fucking blaming the game on the condition of the ice? It’s called being adaptable. Try it sometime.

how did I get here?

That was some Freaky Friday action. It was just like watching the game the other night except this time it was the Chiefs scoring all the goals. In fact, the final score was 4-1. So really, it was Groundhog’s Day, but this time everything was fixed and went in our favor.

David Rutherford posted two goals. Which is nice because the ‘Couv’s goalie, Tyson Sexsmith is one of his good friends. Clearly, Rutherford knew how to get up in his Kool Aid. Also, I am fairly certain Sexsmith’s mask has scantily clad women painted on it. Perhaps it’s the Playboy version of Johnny Canuck.

Mitch Wahl scored and Levko Koper had an empty netter in about the last thirty seconds. After the game, the Giants decided to clear the bench and scream at the refs for their calls. Really, the refs were incredibly fair tonight. I was impressed and all the Giants should have gotten penalized for being unsportsmanlike when the buzzer sounded.

So with the series tied, it’s time to play in Vancouver. Best of luck boys and all that. Oh and I understand for this round of playoffs y’all aren’t shaving. Uhm, please shave. You all look homeless. And unclean. You were all pretty and clean for the first round and you swept the Silvertips. So lets shave off the goatees. Most of you are too young to grow them anyways. I will bring you some Gillette and a razor.

All hail Saint Tokarski, for he saves us all.

Download this: Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta.

they just strut.

And the Chiefs sweep Everett! That’s right, ‘Tips. Chiefs drink your milkshake, they drink it right up.

That perhaps was an overused joke to some Academy Award winning movie that I was saving in my back pocket. But I got it all out of my system.
Judd Blackwater, Mitch Wahl and Levko Koper had goals against the ‘Tips and Dustin Tokarski was in the pipes.

The Chiefs will kick off games one and two of the next round at home versus the Vancouver Giants. The Giants have the ever so stellar Tyson Sexsmith, whose supreme goalie status rivals that of Saint Tokarski. Game one will take place Friday April 4th and game two will be Sunday the 6th.

BTW, the ‘Couv won the Memorial Cup last season. So yeah.
Download this: Star 69 by Fatboy Slim

ain’t nobody watching you, everett. you ain’t that fly.

I guess Kyle Beach is sporting a full mask because he has an eye socket injury and if someone punches him, he could go blind. Fine, he is still a prick. Sending Harty to do his work for him.

Everett decided to not play entirely dirty tonight and played a bit o’ hockey. It was cute, really.

Ondrej Roman scores in the first. Seth Compton scored in the second. Roman again in the third. And Mitch Wahl shot an empty netter with a vengeance in the last 2 minutes. Tokarski had a relatively easy night with only one ‘Tips goal slipping past.
download this: Word Up covered by Korn. Surprisingly amazing.

For reasons I am not entirely sure of, Seth Compton was interviewed after the game wearing a yellow hard hat. How Bob the Builder.

The strong and domineering type.

Oh tonight was not even fair.

Portland starts their 1-17(!!!!!!!!!) goalie. No, that is not a typo. First, how do you allow a goalie to get that fucking terrible? Second, why are you still keeping him around? I could be a better goalie. Strap some mattresses on me and I am good to go. Anyways. So, within the first minute and some change. Goal. Ten seconds later. Goal. One second after that, Portland goalie pulled.

Really, it was too easy and felt kinda mean. Because Portland is a not so hot team. So it was like, Portland was some cute, meek chick. Then some sex bomb like Clive Owen just stormed in and was like “panties off” and you have to listen. Because he is Clive Owen and he has that deep and commanding voice. Portland was steamrolled.

Posting goals:

Mitch Wahl-2
Jared Spurgeon-1 (and 3 assists!)
Justin McCrae-1
Chris Bruton-1

Army had an easy night in the pipes. Final score 5-1
Judd Blackwater was the player magnet.

The song to sum it all up: Slow Jamz by Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx

Friday:

5-2 Chiefs. We pwned Seattle. Trevor Glass snagged his first goal as a Chief in the first period. There were some complaints that the McCrae hype was over. But he delivered a goal to silence the haters. Judd Blackwater had a goal as well. I realize I only accounted for 3 of 5 said goals. Tokarski held it down in the pipes.

IM IN UR PIPEZ BLOCKING UR SHOTZ.

Saturday:

Chiefs took on the Prince Albert Raiders which was a predicted win since the last game the Raiders played, they gave up 8 goals. It was so promo night. And because Mitch Wahl had a goal, I won a thing of seasoning salt from Red Robin. Go Chiefs Go? Levko Koper, Judd Blackwater and Tyler Johnson posted goals. But according to the stats, it appears that Wahl’s goal was going to Seth Compton.

Oh hey, we were just thinking of playing some hockey. you know?

I Wish I Could Hate You To Death.

Hey, Chris Bruton. Can we have a heart to heart here? I am a bit worried about you. Are you ok? Did your girlfriend break up with you? Because you are slipping sir. You just came off suspension. And now you are definitely going to be suspended again. I imagine at least 5 games. Granted, Kyle Beach is a certifiable tool. And of all the ‘Tips to take a punch, I am glad it was him. But seriously dude you are slipping in your captainly duties. At this rate, your C is gonna move to other players. It might have to go to McCrae, the new guy everyone loves. I am here if you want to talk.

Love,

Heather

Ok, so the Chiefs lost to the Everett Silvertips 2-1. Drayson Bowman scored pretty early in the first. Then the ‘Tips popped in a goal that was honestly a lucky shot and no fault of Saint Tokarski. The ‘Tips scored again in the second and it was sloppy from there on. Upon the the final buzzer, from what I am told, Mitch Wahl kinda pawed at Kyle Beach for covering the puck. And Bruton, deciding that Wahl wasn’t pawing hard enough and popped one Beach and he went down like Wile E. Coyote. And didn’t get up for a bit. He left the ice in a neckbrace after lying there about 15 minutes. The manager didn’t seem to care one of his best players was down. Also, Jared Cowen did some damage to Everett player Whateverhisfirstname Alexander. In the third, Alexander lost his stick and decided to body block shots from Cowen. Taking roughly five shots to the torso in a minute. He limped off the ice. Chiefs are on the road. I just may post updates on that. Don’t expect anything too magical.

Spokane takes the ice at home next Friday and Saturday.